Being.

2007-03-25T00:36:00.000-04:00

Nothing in his life
became him like the leaving it.

2 years or maybe a little more or maybe a little less has passed. nothing has changed. much anyway. just a little older, a little more fixed in my ways, a little more self-absorbed, stupid, stubborn and maybe a little stronger or weaker (depending on whether you're awake, asleep or waiting for either one)

but it's been long enough to have forgotten how it feels to be writing for the public. or perhaps it's never been abt writing to the public, but to those that you could never direct the words to. or perhaps a desperate attempt to figure out the paradox about screaming somewhere no one can hear you. is it sound? is it communication? does it exist? does it matter?

it feels different now though. almost as if this is a an attempt to leave my mark of existence somewhere, anywhere, everywhere. it's not for the response, or for readership but of reality, existence and the undeniable fact that it's here, i'm here and if no one know's it's okay. because i do, and that's the only part that matters.

there's no gossip here. no words of hate hate hate hate maybe love hate hate hate and hate. and it makes me sick because that mean it's just about me me me me me and me. and we're not supposed to think about me because that causes pride pride pride and a ticket for free falling. and i'm afraid of heights. everyone is afraid of heights. but i'm proud that there's no gossip, and no need to fling angry words at people, and a start to show that i don't care. don't care, care not, careless. socialising dosen't seem worth it because it's a battle for attention attention attention and i can't give it all, can't give it up.

and it's never about putting yourself out there to be hurt because that's a cliche and everyone knows cliches are annoying and should be grown out of. and i'm in my last teenage year so i should be mature and old old old enough to be sensible. it's about caring enough, giving enough or not caring at all. and maybe family is enough even though they're not here and so far away. and you seldom speak to them but you love love love them so much it hurts to just smell the wisp of loosing them. i don't love anyone else that much. because for once it's not about expectation, not about need or want or caring and concern. it's not about how much i feel about you and how much you will change my life or how you make me good make me feel good make me whole. it's just because.

just because.

and just because is enough.

2005-09-21T17:51:00.000-05:00

le tue parole

Consistency. I've been in selfappointed exile since sunday, eating maggi mee, alio olio and rice with chilli. Mid term exams never really dealt very well with me. With just a couple of days of studying, stir crazy panic is descending rapidly, and my bored mind has grasped on to the excessive, mental diarrhea insane muses have conjured upon.

It's funny how people can be struggling for survival just a 5 hour drive from here, while i worry about things as mundane as exams. I never liked the sense of hopelessness that overwhelms. I want to help. Not out of the goodness of my heart (though it'll be great), but to lift the heavy dispair that coats the news and conversational topics. We're all selfish beings, unable to understand the concept of agape. God's love.

Despite the occasions of attempted contemplation and conviction, daily life consists of no more than pushing ahead, juggling school work and activities. Brings surreal to another dimension - mine.

why continue in our patterns of life
why dance in Man's webs of love
why fuel the need to strive?

per amore, per voi, per il dio.

2005-07-27T04:15:00.000-05:00

Another summer day. has come and gone away

it probably wasn't a good idea to listen to the soul wrenching serenade of jesse cook while reading angst-filled jaded stories. I had half a mind to pop open notepad and start writing a grammatical suicide named The Wretched and I. For once, my laziness saved me.

summer has been wonderful. It's amazing how much i missed home and the missed having such brilliant company. Despite the lapses of close hysterics and having movie after movie slap "carpe diem" in my face, this holiday has been the first (and prob. only) time i will have without a single acedemic/work-related worry and anything else be darned, i'm going to enjoy myself!

I met up a couple of times with Rach and Aditi last week, just before rachy went back to australia. We did some shopping, but mostly sat around talking, about the silly things we used to do, the silly we're doing and the silly things we're about to do. It's been awhile since i've spoken to people i can connect so well with, and for once in a long long time, there were no expectations, just good relaxed company. It's after a year of absence that i learnt who and what to treasure. Most of what we chase in life are ephemeral, but friendship is forever (blast the cliche-ness) and God has blessed me with friends that i can imagine growing old with (and having wheelchair races)

AC folks at TC. Same eccentric-ness, same nerd-ness, but different characters and sophisticated natures. It's hard not to admire their foolhardiness, intellegence and incredible fun-ness hehe. Y'all rock!

Artikulation! Acjc's annual MEP concert. Xinxin'en was fantastic as usual =) Couldn't help but turn a little green at the look of seemingly effortless creation of music. Fuels inspiration but makes me reluctant to touch my instruments because of lack of competence. Cycle ensues :p Met Dhar and Joyce! Couldn't help but take an MEP girls shot weeeeee!

Post-Artikulation funness, situated at the rooftop terrace of the Esplanade. I learnt that flash, so close to the face creates blindness-ensuing pictures that even photoshop cannot save (or it cld also be in incompetence). Valerie, the bestest bestest girl in the world (who happens my best friend) *swoons* has came back to S'pore after a year of studying in the UK. Had lots of gossip to catch up on hehes ^^. Missed her cheerfulness and optimism, support and encouragement, and her ability to listen. With her around, you can't be moody. 'Tis impossible!

and as time always does, when yr having loads of fun, it disappears and leaves me only a bare 3 weeks before my scheduled return to Purdue, dorm life, and cramming time. Much as i love my time here, i suppose, in great reluctance, once i return, it's time to buck up and produce results.

*pants* that was a loooong post hehes. tis definately better than The Wretched and I. *nods* ciao!

2005-07-17T21:52:00.000-05:00

tomorrow's rain will wash my tears away

i woke up feeling self sufficient.
i woke up feeling good.
i woke up feeling rested,
i woke up without wanting you

more myself than anyone to be blamed, i thought myself free. It was silly to think my heart was mine again, what's given is hard to retain. With those words you uttered, reality came barging back in.

Hook line and sinker, baby.

2005-05-18T05:59:00.000-05:00

Go green, go as yoda!

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say I love you right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I’ve looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I’ve changed
Well something’s lost, but something’s gained
In living ev’ry day

I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all

-Both sides now, Joni Mitchell

Pre-star wars night is spent, drinking a weird cocktail of anticipation of dread, whining about the lack of green furry yoda ears and post-star wars depression. Having post star wars depression on a pre star wars night sound dumb. Nevertheless, it's sad that the great epic that kept me entertained since my primary school days is coming to an end tomorrow night, 710pm at GV Grand. Sentimentality aside, i hope Georgey Porgey dosen't screw up the ending. I might be forced to hunt him down and kill him :)

Being back at home seems kinda weird. And i find myself accidentally calling Purdue home (much to my parents' horror), and wondering what i would be doing if i hadn't came back (much to MY horror). It did me great favour though, in midst of my bubbling excitement and anticipation of finally returning home after a year, when my sis gave me a sobering bite of the pie, as she explained that returning home isn't all i would anticipate it to be. Time hadn't made a stand still in the year that i was away for, and old friends have moved on and are probably busy with preparing for their A'levels, and caught up in the hectic S'porean life to spare you much time. Reality is a wet blankie. I haven't reached the "bored" staged though, being shipped around amongst doctors, specialists, acupucturists and whathaveyou by the world's sweetest dada :) I love him so much. Plus i'm being spoilt by my mommy who complains that i'm fat yet relents and buys me cruchie bars, grandparents that bring me to eat such yummy yummy food ^^ Can't really ask for more, since i don't deserve what i already have :D Thankews Lord.

Maybe eventually the "it's always greener on the other side" diesease i've been plagued with would subside and it'll be safe to step out of quarantine.

Just a sideline for the curious: according to the western specialist, we've tried all western methods available, and the only ones left is a small operation with 50-60% success rate or a big operation with 90% success rate (but requires splitting my spine, with is ofcourse a very gross and painful thing to do). So now we're going to try Chinese methods like tueh nah and accupucture for abt a month or so. If all else fails, operating table here i come.

2005-04-25T01:56:00.000-05:00

Lift this mortal veil of fear

When the dark wood fell before me
And all the paths were overgrown
When the priests of pride say there is no other way
I tilled the sorrows of stone

I did not believe because I could not see
Though you came to me in the night
When the dawn seemed forever lost
You showed me your love in the light of the stars

Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me
Then the mountain rose before me
By the deep well of desire
From the fountain of forgiveness
Beyond the ice and the fire

Though we share this humble path, alone
How fragile is the heart
Oh give these clay feet wings to fly
To touch the face of the stars

Breathe life into this feeble heart
Lift this mortal veil of fear
Take these crumbled hopes, etched with tears
We'll rise above these earthly cares

Please remember me....

-Dante's prayer

work, exams and other random things have kept me busy. for the emails i didn't reply, i apologise :) (sorry dude!)

Saturday night Worship in Spirit and in Truth has finally been brought from dream into reality, after many a hard work and countless, endless miracles and blessings the Lord has poured unto us. Kinda nice to know how important we are to Him :) So many feelings i'm unable to express, all i can say is He's moved many lives, mine included, and we will never be the same after this.

Under the snow and rain, 1000 people huddled in the Memorial Union, and the bands played on, dispite being outdoors, and under the cold weather. And God answered our prayers, and calmed the winds that were breaking windows the night before. It was just a gentle breeze that night. He tested our faith just a wee bit asking us whether we trusted in Him. Faith brings us further than anything we can imagine.

Praise the Lord :D

Saturday was a day of many event though, hehe, never thought i'll be admitted into ER for an accidental overdose on painkillers. But the Lord has been soooo great, and blessed me with super duper nice friends :)

Thankews and kudos, to Yingling and Pingbu, for dropping what they were doing to send me to the hospital, Xy for making sure i wouldn't passout while dry heaving in the toilet, and being there through the whole process in the hospital, for my Onnisan who made me dinner and called lotsa time to make sure i wasn't dead yet. To Chris who supported me while i limped around, helped me stick up fliers and basically acted as my crutch when i was incapacitated :D and crazy crazy Davy-boy that mailed me more than 20 times threatening to kill me if i wasn't already dead. Y'all are the best :D I love you!

Just a wee 'lil prayer request: that'll i'll trust that God would be able to see me through my exams, and that the doc will be able to find out why i'm getting these chronic headaches and nausea and that me back would finally heal :)

2005-03-20T20:19:00.000-05:00

Salty breeze, sing to me
when the dark night seems endless, please remember me

Spring break has ended as fast and swift as time usually passes when you're having fun. Many might have felt that they've wasted away this holiday, in fact that was my prediction of how i would feel as my week break came to an end. And though nothing was done in a "productive" manner, i had fun, smashing the controller and yelling at the television screen. Thanks to Bob who in all kindness lent me his PS2 in which i struggled to reign over Kingdom Hearts. Love that game :) Had some quiet jesting time with friends, created memories that i would hold close. Those that would superimpose whispering ghost stories under blankets. I'm glad i abided to my parent's wish and remained behind. And as the school term resumes, we shall pray for strength.

It could, (most likely) be the few fruitip sweets i consumed which acted as a catalyst in escalating my nervous energy and i've resigned in blasting the chrono cross soundtrack and writing off this excess energy. Am quite nervous about tomorrow. Due to the closing down of the campus mail room, i am unable to collect the information package about monday's epidural, steroid injection. Am torn between worrying and trying to forget about tomorrow. I should leave it in God's hands, worrying is a complete waste of time. If this injection dosen't work, surgery would be the next step. Something i'm definately not looking forward to, even if it might mean a faster ticket home.

the temperature is dropping, as the sunlight gives way to darkness. forgive this moment of faltering, and grant me strength. i'll give almost anything to have you hold me now. despite the shallow severity of tomorrow, and spurred by the lack of reassurance, i fear to say i fear. I fear.

2005-03-15T11:25:00.000-05:00

Solitude and Solace

And there's more that dances on the prairies than the wind
And more that pulses in the ocean than the tide
There's a love that's fiercer than the love between friends
More gentle than a mother's when her baby's at her side

So if I stand let me stand on the promise that You will pull me through
And if I can't let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy that has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man who is longing for his home

-If i stand, Jars of Clay

The hall no longer echoes with the sound of laughter and screams, and the constant pitterpatter of footsteps is missing. The toilet stalls are vacant, and the showers are completely void of any signs of human contact. McCutcheon Hall, South wing, level 5, you belong to me! mUahahahaha!

Spring break has sweep the people away (including my roommate) and i am currently the sole occupant of this floor. I don't really mind =D hehe i wouldn't need to worry about freaking anyone out when i hobble to the bathroom in a Quasimodo worthy hunch. For those who are wondering about my highly anticipated spring trip to Colorado to ski, followed by a New York trip, those were cancelled due to the results of my MRI scan and me being incapacitated.

At the ripe old age of 17, Tiff has been diagnosed with a L4-L5 disk herniation, which is, in plain English, the swelling of the joint in the lower part of my spine, resulting in the crushing of the nerves there, which causes intense pain from the left waist down to the ankle. Had been on a oral steroid treatment to try force down the bone (side effects include: nervousness, insomnia, restlessness, hyperactivity, weight gain, increased appetite) , the treatment ended on sunday, and no obvious signs of change has been observed. Missed yesterday's doctors appointment because i failed to anticipate the normally 20 minute walk to the clinic (due to the shutting down of campus bus services) to evolve into a 75 minute walk due to slight complications, but managed to make it for physio therapy, which a nice man enforced a crutch at me stating "i don't care how you use it, just take it! it'll make me feel better." weeee, thus the attainment of a new weapon. With wide range! hehe

Today's doctor's appointment cannot be missed! nope! i will make it on time. in fact, will leave soon :) Today, will be deciding on whether i should go for the epidural shot straight in my back (which is quite dangerous due to the proximity to my spine which if any complications, may result in paralysis) but is supposed to take away the pain, temporarily -.- will also try to find out whether anything but physio will solve this prob. Don't wanna limp around looking like old grandma anymore :( and find myself yelping every time i sit, stand. and get stuck in bed without the ablilty to sit up, move off or even roll over. >.<

But God has been great! and He has blessed me with nice nice nice friends who accomadates my slow walking pace, grumpiness and sometimes snappiness :p thankews! And with God on yr side, what can go wrong? Nothing! Muahahahahhaha! Nothings gonna seperate us from the Father's love. *dances* soon will be on my feet, and terrorising people again! Nothing's gonna stand in our way! And when i can move again... i'll dance for Him, ha! It may be an aweful sight, but i'm going to do it anyway!

2005-03-09T03:47:00.000-05:00

An ode to maybe

You smile
And say the world it doesn't fit with you
I don't believe you
You're so serene
Careening through the universe
Your axis on a tilt
You're guiltless and free
I hope you take a piece of me with you

-Motocycle drive by, Third eye blind

And I finally finally get rid of the 'under construction' background. But do not be led by the lack of announcement, this site will be continuously changed until I feel satisfied with it, which is highly unlikely. :) When i finally get it to look relatively good on my browser (firefox) it looks crappy on ie. Cause mozilla elliminated my colourful scrollbar thingies. >.< sleep ="="">.<

Purdue purdue purdue. How are you. (me so corny hehe) Anyway, (at such a long post, most ppl wldn't have gotten so far, so am safe hehe) in the little assosiation called PSSA, politics strike back. It always puzzles me how a little issue can be blown up into such a huge fiasco leading to the ultimate destruction of friendship and to the extent of openly, publicly verbally insulting people. Especially when you're not only insulting someone's culture, but also your own. It's like yr slapping yrself inthe face. Especially with such a condescending tone. It really makes me ashamed to be a Singaporean.

Is proficiently speaking the english language such a sign of superiority? I think not. Chinese is a much harder language to master, and for those who have, you have my respect. Especially in a place like America, it's shameful to hide your roots behind you and try to conform in this supposedly cosmopolitan and materialistic world. If you want to rise above others, and show your worth, isn't the equation to be YOURSELF and not to CONFORM? And by being yourself it should include yr strict moral believes, upbringing, culture yada yada. If you worry half the time on what the world thinks of you, you're never going to have a chance to stand out. If you think like the world, you become the world. And then you're nothing but one of the participates of this mad rat race.

Friendship is something to be treasure. Petty difference should not even be a stronghold within that bond. God created fellowship for us to build each other up, and not tear each other down and ultimately lead to self-distruction.

And though there's been many fleeting moments of doubt through the scorn, i'm really proud of who i am - a child of God.

2005-02-27T14:56:00.000-05:00

Rain on me
someone to raise your glass on you

the smoke drizzles in through the dust covered blinders
weaving softly fading trails
around sweat sheen flesh
propped up against the stark contrast of the cold ground

if pain could leave the same effect as shame it would have been shunned 10 times more and feared beyond our boundary of comprehension. Scorn scalds and scars fade in time, covered by the sand of acceptance, understanding and a wee bit of defiance. If I could understand the course in which time and God paths out, and detect the troughs worth stumbling upon coupled by temptation's wrath: would I be different? Or would the subterfudge of mere humanity be enough to force the unraveling of every knot rather than avoidance.

2005-02-12T17:00:00.000-05:00

Cute Cactuars Come Cheerfully

Haha methinks the cactuars are really cute :p

My graphic tablet finally finally arrived, but alas it was rather disappointing :( but then again, i shouldn't be, considering the amount i spent on it hehe.

February, tis a month i always spell wrongly, but tis also the month of midterms! :( Alas, the cactuars shall cheerie up this blog while it is in the suspension of an indefinate deadline of it's construction. Fear not! We shall procrastinate!

2005-02-07T01:33:00.000-05:00

Let the day just fade away

It's normal, perhaps, with the constant breath of expectation breathing down yr back, to feel the hairs stand and heart pound, and the consistent pangs of fear. It's like staring at the sun.

But to those who expect the impossible but play no part in it, you deserve no effort, you deserve no trust.

If the baton ends with me, so be it. I'll run the race for Him who loves. Not for the world who steals and slanders.

To he who said" trust me i'll prove to you i'm better than Him", you deserve nothing.

2005-02-01T11:53:00.000-05:00

Shoot the moon (and miss completely)

As I sit and watch the snow
Fallin' down
I don't miss you at all
I hear children playin' laughin' so loud
I don't think of your smile

So if you never come to me
You'll stay a distant memory
Out my window to see lights going dark
Your dark eyes don't haunt me

And then I wonder who I am
Without the warm touch of your hand

And then I wonder who I am
Without the warm touch of your hand
As I sit and watch the snow
Fallin' down

I don't miss you at all
I don't miss you at all
I don't miss you at all

[Don't miss you at all - Norah Jones]

Nothing beats being awoken at 4am (just an hour after i slept) by the beautiful (but now irritating) jazz ringtone of my handphone. And someone screams into my ear after i had clammered down painfully from my loft "OHMIGOSH TIFFY! RODDRICK LOST! HE LOST! MY BABY LOST TIFFY!" and it didn't matter that he has been on a losing streak since last year. Yeah i miss you too girlfriend -.- Haha. Nevertheless, yr voice is Godsent, and i really miss y'all. Really really really. It really didn't matter than you forgot abt the time difference :p i made that mistake before, and i'm actually glad you woke me up. The alarm clock did so 2 hours later, but it suffered greater consequences :p

I wish i could drag y'all over here. Independance here is great becautiful and all. And the amount of spare time i have blooms in a moment and crashes to dirt in the next. Along with the ups and downs. But it's just not the same being alone here. I feel like being scrooge for a moment. BAHUMBUGing. :) lessens down expectancies.

The stack of datapad conversations Mabs and I wrote to each other since sec 1 was this mornings downfall. There lives a monster in my belly. Whom usually goes "feed me!" or "me greedy" or "me so corny" :p unfortunately, it must be in one of its violent fits today and i feel shreded to bits. More sleep and hot chocolate shld do the trick. But i felt rather wasted sleeping so much, so i grabbed the combilation Mabs mabs gave me (God bless her soul :D i sound like old granny sheesh) and flipped through the moments of incoherence and bare lucidity on our parts, sniggering away at ourselves. That level of comfort in which we managed to attain, along with my fellow minions and counterparts in S'pore seems impossible to duplicate. And i miss the moments of stark honesty and lack of euphemisms (which according to trish is impossible in my case -.- you suck. ha! no euphemism!)

The last DC we wrote to each other was the 4th year commemoration, during our JC week of CAP. Living in the same quarters in which we started the whole series of written letters. There's been written emails contemplating and initiating the continuation of the second part of DC, now with our life's seperated and in 2 different countries. But there's some inability to move on from classroom gossip to more... worldly events. And the reluctance remains.

It's strange though. How in the 4 short months in ACJC differs to the 6 months in Purdue. Initiation-wise.

I dream of home last night, and i dream of you.

2005-01-27T22:51:00.000-05:00

One tin soldier rides away.

The sun goes down in Jersey
Rises over Little Italy--
We could talk it up 'til the block gets up
Swapping stories
Sitting around in some all night zoo
Watching it run like a movie
Synchronized--like magic
Good friends you and me

But now it's cloak and dagger
Walk on eggshells and analyze
Every particle of difference
Gets like mountains in our eyes
You say, "You're unscrupulous!"
You say, "You're naive!"
Synchronized--like magic
Good friends you and me

Sometimes change comes at you
Like a broadside accident
There is chaos to the order
Random things you can't prevent
There could be trouble around the corner
There could be beauty down the street
Synchronized--like magic
Good friends you and me

No hearts of gold
No nerves of steel
No blame for what we can and cannot feel

It's unbelievable how hectic this week is, and wonders out of wonders i really don't know why. I haven't been slacking, but haven't really been bombarded with homework. I'm just simply... occupied all the time. Last week's 1030pm bedtime in order to be relatively alive at my 730am class has risen drastically to a 2am bedtime. I'm so tired and it started feeling like friday since wednesday. Drained, sleepy and weary. Mentally, i'm a walking talking cobweb. Makes me think what wld happen when i officially enter the rat race >.< i'll be waving a "boneweary!" sign :p

Dreams of home are more illusive now that the chance for them to reign and conquer has shortened due to the less shut-eye time. Regardless of the thickness of the mist, it's still damp, and the lack of reminders just makes the ache worst. Finding perverse delight in venturing down the road of semi-masochism, i blundered into a mirage and kicked myself down memory lane. Momentary bliss.

Well. Wandering off the rabbit hole is part of niche searching. You meet cute fluffy sheep costumed wolves and manage to skitter away with only a wimper and a couple of scars. Then you meet cougars dressed as yr own kin, beware of serious mauling. Then lions who are cuddly, and crocodiles that masquerade as handbags. Go figure. It's a jungle out there! But when you meet the cuddly sheep, and they say "hey it cld be worse!" i guess it is so. I dislike mutton. (that was outta point :p) Hunting as an occupation wld be profitable :p and i guess that's an option. Gun toting's a little too heavy for me, and maybe some fanged creature wld trip on my rabbit hole :p their fang wld then drop off, and they wld be bo gay bad guys and try gumming rabbits to death :D

Therefore go forth and make rabbit holes!

Excuse my lack of intellegence and incoherance.

2005-01-18T22:48:00.000-05:00

Painted horses go up and down

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere,
I've looked at clouts that way,
But now they only block the sun,
They rain and snow on everyone.
So many things i would have done,
But clouds got in my way.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down and still somehow
It's clouds' illusions I recall;
I really don't know clouds at all.

Moons and Jones and ferris wheels,
The dizzy dancing way i feel,
As every fairy tale comes real,
I've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show,
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know,
Don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take and still somehow,
It's love's illusions I recall;
I really don't know love at all.

Psychology 120 informs us that though the mind and the body are two different things, they require a certain cooperation for a human to perform. The mind acts as the informative source, the caculator in other words, logical analagies, explaination and exit doors. The body though, is the instictive source, and our behavious will thus be based on inherited fenes, shared values, customs and beliefs.

Cognitive and cultural/evolutionary factors seldom ever dance perfectly on the balance scale, and sometimes the logical defeats the instinctive. Most of the time, this happens when the situation is beginning to escalate out of our control, and we see the reigns just slipping out of our hands. Maybe it is instinct itself the allows logic to overide instinct. (sounds weird :p)

Or maybe it could just be a simple (Ockham's razor! wooohoo!) simple fact that we're just too tired to let our heart get into the way of things anymore. Logic's pretty. Sometimes anyway.

2005-01-03T22:44:00.000-05:00

In the year 2005 I resolve to:

Make the FBIs most wanted list.

Get your resolution here

2004-12-31T09:29:00.000-05:00

Change of perspective

It's an old familiar wise saying, that is not the situation that you're in, but what you make of it that ensures your happiness, content, and peace at heart. (my version of what i've heard but can't recall anyway) But you get the gist of it. It's easy to mix satisfaction with quiescence. Something in which i probably invested too much time in in this year of 2004.

Looking at my family after about 4-5 months of their abscence is looking through an entirely different hour glass. What used to be filed under the irritation factor that my brother use to score highly for, instead became more endearment than exaspperation. My parents for all their nagging and insistance to lecture in looonnnngg speeches love me more than i can imagine (till i get my own kids :p) and i miss my mom's gruelling "get tiff to plan her life day by day" scheduling. She taught me far more than i credit her for, and i love them more than i express (something that's gotta change)

The year 2004 has been a whirling myraid of emotions, important events, wonderful friends, love, heartache and new environments. And at times when the kaleidoscope spin too fast i've lost footing, but learnt what to hold on to, and what not to. The faithfulness of God is ever lasting, though so many times i've shamed Him, strayed, ran away screaming and basically acted like an unrepentant spoiled brat (which i still am prob :s) The only thing steadfast and never changeing is Him, that i can always rely on.

I've learnt that love is not only an emotion, but an action. Love is patient, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrong. It always trusts, always hopes, always perseverse. (Snippits from Cor. 13) It makes you think twice before saying i love you :p but then again, this type of love is impossible without God. And it's something worth working towards. In being less judgemental, less grudge-bearing, less petty.

Talents were given with a purpose. God gave me words, and more than often i use it to harm more than to praise, use it to scorn rather than encourage. In reflection of this year, i've hurt friends, family, with the careless blatant use of words. To them i apologise, to mommy for being such a brat and hurting you're feelings by rejecting your concern, to daddy for being rude at times, to Rachy for failing to understand the stress i've put you through and for the hurtful words i threw in fits of rage, to my sweet wonderful charming bro for snapping at you all the time and pushing you away, i love you soooo much. And for the names and deeds that have escaped this tippy tips of my fingers, please forgive the wretchedness of my behaviour. Before this starts sounding like some wailing grieve-torn speech, I'd like to thank God for the people he brought into my life, and left footprints all over, inprinted into my memory, which i suspect will fade in time, but the love you brought into my life will not. To start from the beginning of this year, in YJC.

YJC taught me acceptance of people, change, and circumstance. I hated my first week in YJ, dreaded every coming school day, scowled, brooded and snapped. I learnt to accept how things don't always go my way, and how my way != to God's way (:p) To the people that taught me so much about life, and brought smile, laughter and friendship back into my dormant schoollife, Cherylinny, Jeremy, Armit, Ram, Angelina, Janna, Hui Xia, Sharada, Shariza, John, Wei Liang, y'all are wonderful :) I thank you for making the 1.5 hr mrt ride worth it. I'll always treasure the moment i was first exposed to this side of s'pore i never exprienced in my sheltered MGS life. The times we ran around in the food pasa malam ouside the yishun mrt station, eating eating and eating :p for the woodlands foodcourt times, Jeremy's cookies :), Cherylnny and i's escapade in the computer lab, playing that colourful cube game and driving our computing teacher mad. For the crazy C++ programs we wrotejust for the heck of it. Driving Mr Wu insane with our crazy math ethics, he still owes me $15 for my orientation package(cookieman, remind him!) Mr Lee (issat his name?) our cooooool GP teacher that lectured me about my hopeless grammer but gaveme an A nevertheless :p who let us watch cool movies like Bowling for Columbine. Armit (also known as amy and armpit) and Ram and their insistence on Boo!ing me at every available opportunity and for yr super lame jokes, y'all are super cool! John and his broken arm that we made so much fun of, and his final fantasy craze. Remember me when you come up with yr own RPG game!I'll always remember sneaking food around the LTs, and computer labs, skipping classes just to tell lame jokes. Remember our lame poster for Sentosa that we had to do? For our super nice form teacher aka assistant disiplinarian who always looked out for me but close an eye when i ate in class or broke any other minor rule :p. Janna and Hui Xia whom i rode the mrt to and from home with, it's been great having MG friends with me in YJ :) There's just so much to say and so little time to do so. Make me scuirm everytime i think of y'all, miss y'all sooooo much tis unbelievable.

Next step, ACJC. The JC i wanted to go to since i was in primary school. I dream early :p i was upset when i wasn't accepted and bitter when i went to YJ. But after the real o'level results came out, i was reluctant to leave YJ, and rather pensive and cautious when i entered ACJC. Back to the old ballgame of being in MG, the peer pressure, judgement and social expectation i had forgotten when i spent the first 3 months in YJ. It didn't hit me until the excitement of seeing old friends wore off and i entered into a class in which i knew no one. The irony that i almost knew all the girls in the school because mostly everyone was from MG but barely knew the one mg girl in my class wasn't lost on me. Recess on the first day of school had to be the most deserted time of the day. No one else i knew had a break during then, and i just wasn't used to eating alone. But chicken rice and i found a corner to curl in. God bless Xinxinen who came hunting for tiff and stayed with her till it was time for chinese, in which i met Xuan Ting, aka Glam Queen who lamented the lack of nice people in our current class and how much she missed those in her previous ACJ class. A'sari, our class president took me under his wing later on, and kinda linked me up to the class. He showed me TC, thus starting off my involvement with that CCA. Another compass which shifted my journey is probably unaware of his involvement in sparking up my rapidly dulling Ac life. Though i've only met him for a short short while, and can't remember ever having a conversation with him (rambling rubbish into a
handphone shoved in front of me doesn't count), Lennard Seah was prob the biggest catalyst in my AC life. Haha suprise suprise :p i remember the shocked audacity Sugy's taunting encured and how indignant i felt when Lennard left ac shortly after the episode with Sugy. Alas it was inevitable i had to say something :p, which sparked off conversation with Bob and Ernest (which intimidated me at first glance because of the lack of smileys :p) and later Daryl joined in, and i learnt that these fellow classmates of mine weren't all that bad. The insistent praying paid off :) this basically climbed up from there. Xuan Ting's exclassmate from the 1st 3 months transfered over, i found out Issac was Buddy's cousin whom i had already met at her bday party. Josh, our family friend (whom i forgot existed till then) tranfered over, Gary aka my Godfather (who's a super duper good swimmer) appeared outta no where. Bob, mr i am very dao! turned up to be going to Purdue, and who wasn't actually that dao, a cool conversationalist and computer nerd (not to mention mugger) introed my to purduuuue and tada! now i've been there for the last 4-5 months. Computing classes were fun, other than the exposure of my utter lack of talent in programming and the moments in which i felt incredibly stupid. And it was during these sessions of computing, PW and TC that i met and got to know someone who is so incredibly alike yet so opposite in personality. Though self-acclaimed ephemera, it is hard to think others who's imprints have gone to deep. I have yet to meet someone who connected so well with me and who's presence in which i'm so comfortable in. It's rare to come across someone so driven, intellegent with that lilting sense of humour. Most of the highly intellegent people i meet believe themselves to be superior. Acjc has been an experience which i believe taught me enough to survive my first university semester (in other word independance, to some degree). And my loyalty in the AC and MG family won't end! *waves flag*

CAP. The meeting of so many creative, intellegent minds. And the much needed bonding session between an old friend and I, Mabs :D You can't imagine how much those late night talks did to me. Pushed me back on track you did! It's hard to believe that we meet waaaaaay back in primary school and now we're all old and .... fine. It was not that long ago :p but trust me Mabs, we're going to stretch this friendship way into our grandchildrenhood you get it?! ha! :p Datapad Conversations and BCC hoi! Onward we go! Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I still read that whooole stack of DCs everytime i get nostalgic (which is rather often) you're the best Keyn!CAP taught me the importance in looking and portraying the brighter side of life. After being bombarded with angsty, rival to Linkin Park, prose and poems, it showed me the real challenge in creative writing, how to manipulate shitty situations and create a good laugh. Drama tested me on the personal inhibitions and the coping with ppl who though themselves as arty farty and therefore given the liscence to swear, degrade and be vulgar. Wish is wasn't soooooooo :p And also showed me people so full and brimming with talent but lacking the self-confidence and encouragement to go on and make their mark in the world! Tim, you are one of 'em. Go forth and conquer!

Purdue. (my butt's numb from sitting for so long) Enough has been said about purdue! Just the very big challenge of being in a school without the Christian background, and going through the process in which seperates the wolf from the sheep. A trial in which i'm not even halfway through yet. As my last day with my parents and bro, tis dump to keep typing away. shall proceed to my New Years Resolutions!

1. Initiate change! No more stagnation!
2. Lose 8 KG :p
3. Make my parents proud
4. Smile :)
5. Grow closer to God and STOP STRAYING!
6. Find a secret hot chocolate recipe!
7. Wake up in time for all classes and don't pon unnessasarily
8. Do something other than sit around whining. (refer to 1)
9. Hiking up with God to the valley of Agape :p (corny i know)
10. Dance.

My resolutions are not ranked in any order of importance. They are also subjected to change :p And probably the addition, subtraction or variation during Chinese new year :p

Thus ends my last and longest entry for the year. Prob longest for the next year too.

Ciao Amigos
Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt (haha okay okay)

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? (:p)

My final greetings and farewells,
Amicitiae nostrae memoriam spero sempiternam fore,
Ave atque vale.

2004-12-30T04:17:00.000-05:00

Three peas in a pod, a seed and a stork

Speaking about once in a life time experiences, a man in Beach Ave. apartments walked into a talking elevator. My mom was trying to contact a friend who stayed at a hotel somewhere along beach ave. but must have copied down the wrong number. After numerous tries, someone finally picked up the other line and stated that my mom had just called his apartment's emergency elevator line. And that it was rather strange talking to the elevator. Hehe :p

Christmas was wonderful :D I didn't realise how much i missed my parents till i saw them again :p, kinda weird since i thought i realise how much i needed them only after they left. But i guess i started soaking into my new found freedom. Alas i do take comfort in the chains that bind me. Takes off the responsiblity of things. I'm starting to dread my 18th and 21st birthday :p bleurg. I believe it shld be sweet 17 instead of sweet 16.

3 peas in a pod

The reunion of the siblings :p can't imagine how much i missed my little brother's high excited voice. It's nice to have a bundle of energy to bounce around with. Always raises yr spirits :) plus, he's a real charmer. Heartbreak! haha Suprise of suprises, my brother and i gave each other mug (his a spiderman mug, mine a little mug cover with little hearts), and my sis and i gave each other furry slippers, with a handbag stuffed in hers, and earring in mine :D

BIG feet!

Nobody who loves you more than family :) prob by next year, it's gonna only be yr family (and friends i consider family!) who really think about you all the time back at home (S'pore!) :D agape! ^^ My parents dragged a whole suitcase of stuff for me to Vancouver hehe, gonna have trouble lugging it back home.

I shall leave New Years Resolution for a more strategic time :) have to go pack! (Parents leaving on the 1st :( but am going to stay with sis till the 9th! :D)

Merry Christmas everyone! Remember to pray for those affected by the tsunami! Hope y'all had a great great Christmas!

2004-12-17T13:11:00.000-05:00

Skyline faded blue send your love

There are some beautiful eclipses in time when you feel absolutely, beautiful. And loved. 'tis bittersweet that these instances are an elusive glimpse at the rare silver lining, so treasure it when you have the chance. and dance :D

My whole hearted thanks goes to Xy, Steph, Chris 1&2 :) You'all made that special day so wonderful! And now that i'm a year older, no one can make fun of my age anymore! muahahahahahahaha... (just kidding :p) Xy and Chrises the Naruto calender is sooooo cooool! Tis awesome! I love it so much i have to show it off!

Naruto Calender!

And to Steph, for the whole box of memoirs and the yummy Dairy queen ice cream cakes plus all the effort, Tiff is speechless :D

Beautiful icecream cake!

And to all the other great great people who remembered my birthday, thankews :) i love y'all! Rach, thanks for the bible and the shirt! Dav, Bri, Chel, i got yr card thankews!

Alas the day is incomplete without contrasts. (besides, what's white without black) My parents forgot tiff's birthday. blamed it on jetlag they did. But tis okie :) glad to know some others remember. Dav, that call was a gift from God :) Thankews sooooo much!

2004-12-15T21:02:00.000-05:00

a juxtaposition of proviso and idleness

The idea of having 3 exams on a day never really hit me till the night before and the day itself, in which the beauty of my first sighted snowfall in Purdue and my impending death sentence clashed wills. After being lashed by the armed tailend of the wind, the worry wart won.

It wasn't such a sordid experience i suppose. And if i might say so myself, it was a job well done. For a day's worth of mugging, that is :) but we shouldn't expect more.

The next and final exam wld be Saturday, also the day i leave for Vancouver. So i am faced about 2-3 days of rest, and full day of studying on Friday and Sat morning. Currently i am faced with a suspension between those days of rest, with work disturbing my subconsiousness and the need and want to slack occupying my consiousness.

I wonder how long i'll be spending on the first round around the monopoly board.

2004-12-07T23:19:00.000-05:00

Things thus imaginable

With the exams currently crawling up to dance the can-can infront of me, it is inevitable that i get struck down but what seems like a blastedly insistant flu that refuses to leave. My sleep cycle has been iradicated with empty pockets of air and an occasional discordance, and i am constantly struck with the feeling that i have lots of things to do, but nothing in mind. Despite all, i am alive ^^. The joy.

Bank statement found its way into my mailbox yesterday, one of the few unwanted letters i get. Apparently i have managed to cork up an unbelievable sum of 555 USD in just the month of november. How i'm going to explain this to my parents is still an illusive thought i rather not ponder upon.

I have also given into the reality of 4day 7:30am English lessons for next semester. And i can't even wake up for my current 9 and 1030 classes. Go me.

As of the beginning of next semester, i shall be self-declared lover of Shiva, and best friend of jack frost. Tread gently.

2004-12-01T14:48:00.000-05:00

The sordid tale of a million pieces

The floor had just been cleaned. With great effort, it would seem, as it gleamed with mocking perfection. A pair of autumn shaded socks plodded along, soft and silent in contemplation of the cold biting air, large piling stockpile of work and the ever present voice of temptation. Slack... slack! But it was about time to get pulled together and face the twisted dark path of work. The journey would have to start sooner or later. Better later than sooner though.

Cups clanked softly as it collided together, a glinch in the process of domestication. Washing liquid stank, but the bubbles were amusing enough for the cleaning process to be bearable. Beside, the thought of the lack of somethink hot and warm to clear a clogged and raw nasal passage was unbearable. Such encourage was needed. Cold water can be hateful.

Alas, the cups were finally clean and the vision of nice hot soup could be fulfilled. The bathroom door open behind the soft push of a foot and the short journey back to the source of food could continue. If it was meant to be.

It wasn't. -.-

Outside, glaring with formidable energy was a perfect sample of what we call red hair demons (also know as ang mohs). And with the terrible momentem of shock and slight terror, the socks slid across the shiny tiles accompanied with a high pitched yelp which ended in a finale of shattered glass.

No more miso soup.

No more hot chocolate.

NO MORE CUPS!

I would morn in silence.

But i can't.

Stupid comm 114 class.

2004-11-27T00:23:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving :)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to the Lord.
Philipians 4:6

My second week at Purdue was probably the worst (in terms of homesickness me thinks) and Lavinia (a super nice aussie girl living opp. from me) told me that whenever i'm feeling super upset to get a sheet of paper and start writing my blessings, from big things like the opportunity to go overseas to study, for having such great nice parents, having a roof over my head, and clothes to wear, for not being inmidst fighting, war and disparity to the small things like there apples on my table, chocolate in my drawer, cookies in the cupboard, hot chocolate mix somewhere on the floor, lotsa chips also in my food storage drawer, maggi mee in a box, dried mango in the same box... and i digress. =p but truthfully, i think this is one of the best advices i've been given.

Thanksgiving is the secret of contentment :) it changes our perspectives and focus from us to the Lord. Every gift us from above, so thank the Lord! :D

Oooooooooookies on the other hand, this is the second last day of my thanksgiving break (awww) haha but so far, thanksgiving break has been great great great :) Stephen invited us over to his place for Thanksgiving, so we spent Tues-fri at his place, and had lotsa lotsa fun and good food :) His mom is a super duper cook! (I feel spoilt and don't feel like touching school food ever again hmph!) Played lotsa PS2, found out that i enjoy running around wacking up bad guys in some re-enaction of the San Guo Yan Yi (Romance of the three kingdoms... actually why do they call it romance... it's not really romance, more like massacre. strange hmmmm... Maybe romance=massacre :p hehe) more than dancing para para where i resemble an off-balanced penguin flapping and swinging about >.<>Stephen and his really super cool family for being so great and hosting us for thanksgiving! Makes me wanna move to his neighbourhood, that place is so nice a serene, and has this really cool lake thingy just incase any of the house catch fire, they can go there and draw buckets of water hehe.

To Steph, Xy, Chris 1 &2: thankews for the fun fun fun week, and the crazy wake-up-and-drive at 6am shopping on Fri :p

To Dav who sent me a long long email demanding i post up a pic which showed him the ppl i kept talking about. Miss you too dude, hurry come and visit me! Alas, tis a bit blurry, so clear yr mail and get msn!

2004-11-19T00:09:00.000-05:00

Starting the day in no man's land again

it's cold, a man complains
cold, wet a dreary
light a fire, why don't you, light a fire

how do you expect me to start a fire
if you keep stepping on my sparks
just keep your demands to yourself next time.
please
i'm sick of trying
all i do is try
time for moving on.

2004-11-14T02:04:00.000-05:00

Voice of the martyrs

14th November is a day of commemeration and prayer for the martyrs and the currently persecuted churches. To the people who have suffered or are suffering for Christ, this prayer is dedicated to you.

Lord,
please grant the missionaries, church leaders, church members, teachers with encouragement, strength, hope and love (towards each other and their persecuters). We pray especially for the people in North Africa, Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Mexico, China, Servia, Korea, Idia, Bangledash, Tibet, Iraq, Iran, Haiti, Japan. Please lead and protect the church and their family. Give them strenth to withstand their persecution and suffering, and to help them and the ppl around them to break free of their bondages, to give them more ways to minister to the people.

To the prisoners in China, Aiqing Zhu, Baishun Bao, Changlan Pu, Daozing Shen, Feng Ping Xiang, Gong Shengliang, Hu Ying, Li Ying, Mengyu Tang, Mingying He, Qong Ling Yi, Shigui Tan, Shuang Yu Xiang, Shuxian Ding, Xitao Zhao, Xu Fuming, Ying Ping Li, Yumei Lu, Zhang Yi-nan, Zhong Chen and to other who still remain unknowned, please give them the strength to be able to resist the communist government who is trying to crush religion. That people may be able to break language barriers as they petition for the above's release. That you'll be able to grant them the peace and joy that Paul felt even when he was chained, starved and beaten in jail. Please help them to acknowlege our prayer, and be encouraged.

To Shaiboub Arsal in Egypt, Thong Chan in Laos, Parvez Masih and Rhanja Masih in Pakistan, please grant them strength has they are being held captive in countries that do not allow the practice of free religion, and which has very strong Islamic roots. We pray that their voices may be heard amongst the people and the Government. Please protect them from harm and grant them peace through their suffering. Please protect their families from harm, and give them the courage to minister to the people in prison with them. Give them hope Lord :)

To the prisoners in Vietnam, Dinh Be, Ho Hoang Duy, Hau Chong Vu, Lo Van Hao, Ma Seo Phu, Ma Van Bay, Sinh Mi Po, Sung Phai Dia, Sung Sai Sai, Sung Seo Pao, Thao Nhia Lu, Thao Sua Pao, Trang Ka Hinh, Vang Seo Senh, Y Dham Knul, Y hai Knul, Y Het Nie Kdam, Y Kim Enuol, Y Kro Nie, Y lia Nie, Y oal Nie, Y Tim Bya, Lord, please help these people who have been arrested for preaching the gospel, and spreading yr word. Please help the actions and behaviours of these men and women sway the Government and the people, and that they might come to know you. Lord, you know their suffering and pain, please grant them understanding in their plight, and encouragement, hope and strength. Grant them spiritual peace and joy, and protect them and their families. Please help our letters and petitions to speak to the goverment officials so that our brothers and sisters may be freed. Thank you Lord :)

Please help the prisoners to be able to forgive their persecutors and the people that have caused them so much pain and suffering. Please help the leaders in these violent countries to reach a just peace and end the vivil wars and strifs. Please hlep the churches to go in the direction that You are heading, and that we do not stray. Please help the safe delivery of bibles in places where bibles are illegal such as China and Vietnam, and protect the people as they share the gospel. Please provide opportunities for minitries to provide bibles for restricted nations. Most of all please grant them safety Lord, and love. :D

Thank you Lord,
Amen.

For those who wanna write letters and know more about the missionary circles and their prayer requests, please check out www.persecution.com . Thankews :) It wonderful to know that there are such self-sacrificing people out there with such a great big love for God :D

2004-11-11T20:22:00.000-05:00

Set Adrift On Memory Bliss

careless whisper from a careless man
a neutron dance for a neutron fan
marionette strongs are dangerous things

subterranean by design. they're probably alone, solitaire. I broke my wishbone and wished for a sign. He told me whispers in my heart was fine. Reality has replaced you with the biggest void i've ever had.

my conciousness carelessly imagines how happy you are right now. I guess that's how it goes. Forever's gone.

I remember everything, every smile, even all the reasons why i pushed you out of my mind.

Tell me everything is wonderful now.

2004-11-08T19:12:00.000-05:00

Do you remember when you were way back then

Who are you gonna be?
When you're on your knees, who do you believe?
Fear is a lonely man
You've been given innocence

You should know by now
That your darkest hour
Is when your broken heart goes down
It's a bitter end
When the sweet begins
Grace is sufficiency
-Innocence again by Switchfoot

I think i've fogotten the original purpose of me leaving, and how great an opportunity it is to be able to come to Purdue. I guess i just got caught up in everything and the whole mad rush for entertainment, that the wonder of being given this opportunity to study abroad just got lost some where.

Purdue has it's beautiful points. The lack of city life manages to cancel out the crazily hectic life i so wanted a break from. God blessed me with great friends, treasure them. I've learnt how to do my own laundry :) cooked, done much more independant stuff. Found out what weak self-control i have and how much i really needed God. Found out that if you try to do anything with just mere self-will along is impossible. But Grace is sufficiency :) and the sweet begins.

We've been given innocence. Love it :D

2004-11-03T09:45:00.000-05:00

Playing for keeps

It's getting harder day by day, to maintain any shred of sanity (if i ever possesed any in the first place). During the weekends, we hang out at Walmart. If you don't see the problem in this, try doing it consequtively for 3 months. Everyday has kinda blended into each other. Meals are held in the same place, so are classes. Every weekend is repetitive. You even eat the same thing. Nights are held standing or sitting somewhere... stoning. It's getting so listless. the winter blues might be setting a bit too early, but even my pale attempt to brighten up my room isn't really working. needa get out of lafayette. seriously. bleurg.

2004-10-28T22:27:00.000-05:00

Running from paper tigers

it has only been 2 months. can't imagine how much i miss you, miss what i was around you, miss what you meant to me, miss what you made me feel, miss your laugh, your smile, the lameness, the intellegence, wit, the emotions you try to hide. Just you.

I dunno whether it's normal. perhaps it is, to find an emotional output, a companion that you'd share everything with, know that that someone wld provide the support and love you'll need. Not accusations, criticises. maybe that infuriating logic, but it always succeeded in making you feel better. And you wished hoped and maybe have the same effect to the other. Soulmate

it's times like this when i fully appreciate yr comfort. that when i sat in the rain, you sat right by next to me. here i sit alone.

I miss you telling me how stupid i am, even. And after my first major mistake here, no "baka" comment made me feel better, and i miss you ever so much more. selfish, but i do.

i do.

2004-10-21T00:13:00.000-05:00

If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.
John 15:18

2004-10-15T01:24:00.000-05:00

Thankews :D
To my sweet sweet wonderful friends: Davy (dude! waasssup? :p) Jenni (*hugs* bri taking care of you? hehe) Bri (crazy bugger :p i'll get back at you soon!) Peni (haven't heard from you in a long time gal!)

thanks so so so much for the letters and pacel :D you cannot imagine how crazily deliriously euphoric to get 'em! My dada was like those crazy ppl packed so much stuff for you hehe it was the first thing i dived for. Seriously guys, that was so entirely sweet! I'm sticking yr letters and such all over my wall hehe the first written contact from s'pore! yay! hehes. I miss y'all so much! *sigh* i was flipping thr the book y'all gave me. bleurg. parting is such a sweet sorrow. i wish i cld show y'all the beautiful autumn weather here. it's incredible. i feel much better after meeting my dada and getting yr stuff, a real booster ya know? :) thanks so much hehe i really appreciate it! :D

Davy-boy! Dude, that cd is really really really cool. :D the cover is so cute! the way everything is hand written and drawn... thanks so much! ^^ i owe you big one!

Jen Hey dearie! Life has it's pains >.< but if we never hurt, we ain't never going to feel better ne? :D smile! Thanks soooo much for that socks :p they're cute hehe (you know me too well it's scary :s just kidding! hehes)

Bri The bug was not funny man. Not funny. Hmph. but thanks anyway :D it gave me a real laugh :)

Peni Just a letter, short and sweet. Just a whisper beneath the beat. Just like hot chocolate in a mug, that little note was like a hug. :) sounds silly but it's sooo true

if it's possible i miss y'all even more. *sigh* guys, really thanks so much. God has blessed me with really really really sweet friends. i love y'all :) God bless dearies! Take care! :D

2004-10-11T17:40:00.000-05:00

The story that was (part one)

taken by Chris Lin
starring: Chris Chu
Tiff Lam

It was a cold dark night, and the only source of light was the dim yellowish glow of the few scattered street lamps. Laying on the ground just inches away from a white van, layed a black cloacked figure...

With hard-felt determination, the fallen rider pushes himself up painfully

but falls back onto the ground, too tired and cold.

to be continued...
will the poor rider ever get up? or will he be stuck to the cold hard asphalt ground? Catch the next episode, which wld be screened when tiff has stopped procrasinating!

Promos are over for y'all :D Praise the Lord hehe. God bless for your results! :) Am having my october break now hehe daddy's coming today! In fact he's driving to purdue right now. Can't wait :) wooohooo! hehe. This is a product of us very extremely bored ppl at midnight. hehe, the campus is virtually deserted right now, cause most of the locals went back for the hol. Hope you enjoyed it ^^ the next one is quite funny hehe. =D

God bless :)

2004-10-03T22:52:00.000-05:00

Tapping my red shoes

The past week has been craaaaazy. Prob not as crazy as y'all preparing for the promos, had a sudden rush of homework and stress. The next week prob wouldn't be much better. But the October break (which is only 2 days -.-) is coming, and dada's going to visit me! :)

God bless for all y'all taking the Promos!

Here's a little something. Hopefully it'll bring some smiles and encouragement!
PSALM 23 (Student Version- RSV)

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not flunk;
He keepeth me from lying down when I should be studying.
He leadeth me beside the water cooler for a study break;
He restoreth my faith in study guides.
He leads me to better study habits
For my grade's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of borderline grades,
I will not have a nervous breakdown;
For thou art with me.
My prayers and my friends, they comfort me.
Thou givest me answers in moments of blankness;
Thou anointest my head with understanding.
My test paper runneth over with questions I recognise.
Surely passing grades and flying colours shall follow me
All the days of my examinations,
And I shall not have to dwell in JC1 forever,
Amen!

The weather is getting pretty cold. It was a whooping 1 degree last night, and we had a midnight match again, cycled 15 out to get a nice milkshake and got back at around 3am. It was freezing! Cld hardly pry myself off the bike :p and was only wearing pants and a sweater. >.<

While researching for my pol sci paper, i stumbled across this site : http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?g=events/wl/080602chinataiwan&tmpl=sl&e=1 needless to say, i was soooooo pissed! "Snot"?! If only i could give that guy a piece of my mind. Singapore has developed so well and so far and they consider us snot?! Bleurg. If anything independance got Singapore standing on her feet again. It's kinda like going to university, you have to grow up and be responsible for yr action in order to survive. And we've cultivated this instinct of survival because of the spilt with Malaysia, and because of this initiative to stay and survive as an INDEPENDANT state. I'm not saying S'pore is perfect though, we're far from that, but as far as i'm concerned, S'pore's my little treasure island :)

hehe. Wow. i sure got patriotic after i left. But i guess we take S'pore for granted most of the time, and only realise what home meant when we left.

2004-09-29T15:00:00.000-05:00

Stalker guy and the week of accidents

Monday 27th of September, at exactly 4:45pm, there was a guy standing on the roof of a building directly opposite my dorm window yelling "i seeeee yoouu" repeatedly at me. As usual, i was calm and collected (haha. right =.= ) and drawed the curtains. he stopped after that. Just 2 hrs later when i was walking toward the bike rack to collect my bike, he popped out of no where and went "i see you!", laughed like crazy then disappeared. Hm. Since then he's appeared outside my window once more (yesterday). Bleurg. Quite scary actually. oh well.

So sorry for not blogging for sooo long, but as a short short update here's a brief run through of my last week. Mon: Got hit by a car that ran thr a red light. It slammed into my bike from the side, and i bounced off the hood happily. Miracles or miracles (definately God's grace) me didn't get seriously injured. Just bruised and scratched, my white sweater is now partially black, bike suffered paint scratch and my beautiful acjc bottle got dented -.- Thinking abt it now, if that lady didn't knock me down, she wld have ploughed into a large container truck thingy. God's wonderful eh? :D Tues: Had a midnight basketball "match" (which is slowly turning into a routine) then went to XY's place to take a look at her stash of manga (woohoo!) Cycled down Hilltop (where she stays) at top speed, got so frozen that i didn't break in time and almost ran poor Chris over hehe. Wed: Went to watch Stomp :) it was really great! Except for a rather grumpy and petty wooded block sitting on my left (omae o korosue!) Thurs: Went rather uneventful. Fri: After getting hit by the car, i had been very cautious crossing the roads. but it was friday, and i cldn't be bothered. Again by God's grace, the bus that was about to smash tiff into bits stopped abt an inch next to my bike. Shall be a good girl now. Thank you Lord :)

Have tons of homework due tomorrow! Have procrastinated enough. Shall update soon! Hopefully with no more mishaps to report :p

2004-09-16T00:00:00.000-05:00

Picinic at Squirrel park!

An introduction to the ppl i'm studying/living with now! Starting with the upper right corner, that's Andrew, a TJ freshmen who stays in Young. Pretty nice guy. Next is Ezekiel, aka easy to kill, lives up to his name! More story on him soon. (dosen't have my blog addy muahahahahaha!) Then is some guy who i haven't seen since, and don't recognise :p. Then it's Ping Bu (i think it's spelled that way), aka Muscle man! He has a Korean fetish :D hehe

some uhem person mentioned that my blog is boring. so i shall change format! i shall make it more interesting! so gimme some time while i juggle with homework and tests and redesigning this bloggy blog blog!

2004-08-29T14:59:00.000-05:00

cocoa pops?

What Makes You Purr? by bluemystique82
Name:
Age:
Favorite Food:
You purr when:	you get a treat
You as a kitten:

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Yesterday was a day of discovery. I met the rest of the PSSA (Purdue Singapore ... something heh) was kinda zonked out cause i didn't get much rest the night before. Friday night :p i went for the Upper Room bible study cookout, and had lotsa fun :) the youth grp leader and his wife were super hospitable, and i met so many super ppl! Nevertheless, i signed up to help out with our three main projects and stayed around trying to socialised. But i still suck at small talk. So there.

We went off to Tippacanoe mall for dinner, i did some shopping :D and then 4 of us headed back by bus, which stopped by at the theatre at Wabash Landing. Thus started the impromptu movie outing. We watched Collateral, which was pretty good, but abrupt. It ended at 1145 pm.

It had just finish raining and puddles littered the ground. The wind was strong enough to classify the weather under freezing. Blame it on the amt of mountain dew i drank, i was suffering from sugar high and jumped around avoiding puddles. The guys decided to go to one of the guy dorm to chillout, and they had bikes, so i cldn't tag along. The night bus takes ages to come. so i walked the 45 mins walk.

I remembered wishing i brought my sweater when i heard a group of guys being really loud at a nearby bench. Guess i made a pretty good target cause when they saw me they kinda hunkered up and shoved me around. They tried to grap my bag, but hell, my mom gave me that bag. I don't really remember what happened. everthing was rather blurred. i remember being on the ground one moment, then running the next. 2 of them gave chase. unfortunately for them, they were drunk i wasn't.

It's God grace that i returned back unhurt, just a little bruised and freaked. But i mudified my fav pair of slippers and can't wash it clean. Oh well. Saturday night fever sure is swell.

2004-08-26T17:19:00.000-05:00

Hi chew

Blogger has been really strange lately, so cldn't update. sorry y'all.

I dunno what triggered the wave of homesickness yesterday. Cld have been the empty room, could have been having too much time to think and sigh, must be self-pity (ugly word it is, but true). My roomie, Kathryn moved out yesterday, and Debbie has taken her place. The RA wrote me a note to see her, and apparently Debbie, who is staying at temp housing, is moving out of her closet-bedroom and she thinks that Debbie's to-be-roomie is better off with kathryn, cause both their bfs come over and stay over a lot, and debbie, being just one yr older than me and chinese (she's from indo) can click better with me. Apparently she hasn't told Kathy and the others yet, just me. But i strongly suspect that Kathy asked for the change, cause she cldn't click with me and i cldn't click with her partying ways. It's strange though, we didn't have a single fall-out, kinda comprimised and tolerated. She even told me that she wld rather talk it out with me than talk to our RA. Needless to say i'm pretty hurt, but maybe it was really the RA's decision. maybe.

The move isn't that bad, in fact my parents think it's a blessing cause Kathy has smthing against christians and her bf wants to stay over every weekend. Maybe it is. I can talk to Debbie better. But it's waaaay from buddy buddy status.

Just a minute ago i remember some sweet thing my mom gave me before she left for home and i never ate. Lo and behold, hi chew. When i unwrapped that damned thing, it reminded me so much of home i cldn't eat it. And i guess that's what trigged off the second wave of homesickness. talking abt regret hmph. As everyone always says, wait a bit, you'll find yr grp of friends! It's still earyl! Well, the wait is tough. I miss having someone to talk to all the time without worrying abt what to say and when to say, and going shopping or browsing together, and comfortable silence. I guess that's too much to ask for. My sis did warn me that i always hang my expectations too high.

i was in the laundry room yesterday, doing laundry (duh) and thumbing thr the Bible, and God sent me this verse Romans 5:3-5 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our suffering, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Dunno whether what i'm going thr can be classified as suffering. it seems like a rather harsh word, and i seem rather childish. but man, it's lonely here. and i really miss home, and i miss y'all. I guess i shldn't forget that God's here for me, and i don't have to be afraid. It dosen't make things much easier, but it's bearable with hope. I hope :p

2004-08-18T06:22:00.000-05:00

much afraid

this is the first time i'm uploading a pic, so hopefully, it works. That's the view from the hilton i'm staying in with my mom. Purdue has been okay i guess, it's really beautiful and i've made a new friend. From Singapore, cavell's and issac's friend. :) He brought us around yesterday and it was pretty cool. I checked in and stuff and got to see most of the campus. I can just imagine getting lost here.

orientation's later in the day, starts at 8 am. Cause of jet lag, my mom and i were up and about at 5 am. Going to be rather gong later in orientation. Had chinese food yesterday for lunch. Made me rather homesick for a moment. but i guess i'm still rather shellshocked. Buying groceries did make me feel better though. Dunno. i think it's very theraputic.

i went to visit my dorm, the room is kinda tiny and i'm going to mark my territory on the table with the internet cable hehe. not moving in till fri though, cause i have to pay extra. will try and post more picture when i get around to it.

ciao

2004-08-15T11:10:00.000-05:00

Drink with me

It's pass 12 midnight. Thus enters the day that supposed to change my life, forever. Funny how this "life shaking" moment as the night resides and day enters is nothing but a queazy tummy and cold (pun NOT intended) feet. I've always been looking forward for this moment, since my mom told me about UWC. I love travelling and i wanted so desperately to get out and explore. But now, sleepy but determined not to fall asleep, with Save Tonight (i love that song) playing with the repeat button, i wonder whether it's really worth leaving so many good friends and unsaid words behind. guess sometimes it's rather hard to follow the carpe diem advice, but really regret when you don't.

I've emailed my roomie, it's been a bit more than 2 days and she hasn't replied yet. i'm not sure whether or not to start panicing and raving that i have a super tao roommate. Being paranoid i guess.

But to all those who are reading, y'all have left footprints all over my heart, and damn if i don't cherish these experiences. Memory may fade (i'm a slob. kill me =p) but the emotion and lesson learnt will stay forever. I'm already missing all of you, and i must say i never really appreciated all that God has given to me - family, friends, bro and sis in Christ- and how He brought me through everything, and stood by me while i fumed and sulked at Him, and happily skipped off the path. Thank you y'all for being such great friends and confidents. I love y'all.

2004-08-10T09:47:00.000-05:00

Road trip

strangely, my last post never showed up. hm maybe blogger's just acting rather weird. Ne'way i was away in Penang for the long long weekend and had another shopping feast :p am quite happy with what i got hehe

The scenery though... isn't really what i expected. Penang isn't what it used to be. There was such thick fog that you can't distinguish the skyline and the sea. And the beach, it's full of plastic bottle and glass fragments (and what have you) that it's a real turn off to run on the sand barefoot, which takes away half the delight of going to the sea. didn't swim there at all. that's prob my only disappointment. But had lotsa fun. Last change for family bonding before i fly off. 5.1 more days. Sounds rather scary. Can't believe i'm leaving so soon.

I should find time to come back to AC for the last time, i even miss computing, so chris you better appreciate the golden silence before i come back and destroy it :p oh, oh, and i'm using my new laptop :) :) have yet to christian it, but still love 'im! Kudos to Pussy in the well ^^ for helping me with the transfering of data (i still need me pics! must remember to pass you my thumb drive).

Chel, peni, bri, dav: Thursday? I was planning on having the gathering on fri, BUT, SOME PEOPLE aren't going to be in S'PORE cause of some school competition thingy so they can't come on fri and can't SEND ME OFF! am upset. >.<

cheamiyumy: tomorrowwwwwwwww tomorrow! thanks so much dearie :) let's show seoul garden how we eat in style :p

2004-08-05T22:32:00.000-05:00

2004-08-05T21:52:00.000-05:00

Road trip

I would like to announce very proudly, that i'm currently using my new laptop :) :) T42 Thinkpad :D i'm almost delirious hehe. But i love this baby, just haven't thought of an apropriate name, so it's not officially christian yet. Thank you so much daddy! (even though i hope my parents never get onto my blog hehe)

Haven't updated lately, been really up to my ears in things that i have to get done before i leave. Strangely, it dosen't consist much of the people i have to see before i leave. but i guess it's cause of the timing and schedule conflicts. Must remember that others are still cramming and mugging :p. So about the party thingy... i'm not very sure whether it's worth it, cause it's going to take a lot of work getting people to come, and making sure that everyone can make it. Can't leave anyone out yanno.

But must say, i miss all of y'all so much. Mg, ac, (the odd one outs hehe) i even miss computing class (yep, believe it or not :p) maybe i shld come back one day and make a lot of noise and mayhem (Chris you better appreciate the golden silence now! :p)

Peni,Chel,Dav,Bri: sorry y'all! i'll be in Penang during this long long hols. I'll love to go out with y'all! so sorry! it's kinda family bonding trip *shudders* hehe

Pussy in the well: Thanks so much for fixing up my laptop :) and sorry abt the math hw! hope you survive mrs kan (carpe diem! :p)

Cheamiyumy: don't forget wed k? what do you say abt NYDC? The one at borders?

ciao!

2004-07-19T09:38:00.000-05:00

the beauty of.... shit.

I've never really appreciated shit. (till the serious constipation spell that afflicted many in CAP.) And i don't think anyone has every appreciated being called or refered to shit. Funny how i cld be so estatic when dav said i look like shit. or to be exact, "i feel like shit, but you sure look it!". Come to think of it now... i'm not that estatic. Call it a once in a lifetime experience. I rather not be compared with shit ever again.

Sometime you go thr this period of time where all yr troubles seemed to have resolved each other, and life starts to even out, and you just cling on and hope it isn't the eye of the storm :p. i sure hope not. especially since the next month if going to close and open a chapter of my life. For those who still don't know, i've quit acjc, and am currently slacking, shopping, and packing :) my parents have finally confirmed, that yes i am leaving for the states, and yes i'm going to purdue :) hurray for me! Now just need additional prayers for guidance and strength :)

Sis is trying to look for a cheap travel package to hong kong so that we can go shopping :D and to pig out at chinese good before it's gone! hehe. She has uwc friends there, so it'll be cool if we cld go. The packing list is almost done, hope i don't over pack. Still contemplating on whether to bring my skiing stuff. Most likely will only bring the essentials. neck gators and stuff cld be bought i guess :) i sure hope there's time to ski!

I've only missed two days of school technically, fri and today. But i kinda miss ac already... perhaps it's all in the mind cause i know i won't ever be going back (as a acjc student at least), but i miss the place and ofcourse the ppl. I heard that tomorrow's the gp package test, so good luck y'all! i'll be praying for ya!

2004-07-11T05:53:00.000-05:00

cold white tiles and sterile walls

Funny how i always found hospitals fasinating... in a curious sense (no i'm not that morbid), the way gleneagles has these message boxes that wld zoom around on an overhead pole, moving into rooms through dog-flaps. Watching cable television in my mom's private hospital room when she had my bro. Throwing flowers around and eventually getting scolded by a nurse when my sister had to stay for some ... weird medical problem that i can't remember.

But i've never been to the ICU wards. Been underaged during the last few emergencies. Not anymore though. I've read books and stories written about the cold and unbearingly sterile feeling that one gets in the hospital and i've classified that under cliche bull. It's different though, when you know that this might be the last time you see your friend. And that when you're sitting in the room with another person, because of the visiting restrictions, listening to the beeping of the machinery, the slow rhythmic growls of the air conditioning unit, the neat mess of wires climbing, entwined with the cold metal bed... you just feel so bleeding helpless, at lost with what to say.

It's like there's just so much to say that you don't know where to start, or afraid that if you say what you have to, you won't have the chance to say it again. And you want that chance.

To he who wrote Tears, Idle Tears on my second copy of the Tempest, O Death in Life, the days that are no more! You will survive.

2004-07-07T04:08:00.000-05:00

a breather. finally

The rat race tends to tire ppl out. I'm being prepared to enter the race and am already pretty burnt out. Makes me wonder how i'll fare in the reallll world >.< Oh well. Clarinet exam is over. I manage to make the dancing boots stomp at the right places and kept the fireflies alive. Hopefully. My scales were rather pathetic though. But i think i did well enough to pass. Merit wld be a grace. And a really nice bonus :)

The result for our terms came out earlier than expected. well... MUCH ealier than expected. I PASSED COMPUTING! (though on the dot hehe)this proves that i am no that hopeless after all. Hehe. The other subjects shldn't be mentioned :p but i still have math and GP to keep an eye out for. I guess my dada wld be confirming whether i'll be quitting school soon. That really depends on Mrs Kan's marking abilities and speed. Hope she marks faster. And gives brownie points :p

Somethings are too much to hope for i guess. But i managed to go shopping with my sis on youth day, banged into Issac and Bri *waves* :), had lunch with Jeremy (and got my cookies :) and books), spend lotsa money. Mommy let me take the rest of the day off on tuesday after my clarinet exam and i really really appreciate that :D She bought me new shoes too! Hehe such simple things in life should be thoroughly enjoyed. I'll miss these things much when i leave. And the Ikea lunches (mom brought me there on tues too!). Pecan pie *sighs*

Bliss

2004-07-01T06:36:00.000-05:00

Broken wings won't ground me today!

maybe tomorrow hehe

yes! it's the end! i have made a flying leap out of the charred blackened surface of the hissing sizzling frying pan! and straight into the fire. I feel like a doomed ant. oh well.

when through chinese and math in a half drugged mode. ate the wrong medicine. took the drousy one (stupid me). but at least the terms are over. now i only have to worry about the results, my clarinet exam, my american visa, my chinese A level oral and my parents decision about going to the states. Oh, and my piano too. thinks my teacher wanted to call me stupid to my face, but felt bad so didn't.

ne'ways :)

oh yes. and to trish, peni, bri, dav y'all can use my place. (and no i don't want to know what party supplies you have) i needa go buy charcoal and fire starters. the rest shld be fine :)

2004-06-26T21:35:00.000-05:00

Born free! As free as the wind blows! Till the exams go "study study studyyyyyyyyy"

am back from CAP and ready to flaunt my wonderful! powderful! artistic skilllssss! *points at above* yessssssss. Unfortunately, no school work or studying has been done throughout the week. (but mommy dosen't know this shhhh) unlike my hua chong muggers counterparts (14 of them!!! exactly half of the jc participants) they actually studied in the toilet to hide from the night patrols! Got caught in Mabs room actually hehe we were having "don't study!" talks with her rgs roomate and friends hehe. total opposites we are from the hc peepsss. But they're pretty cool muggers :) fun and all. Just a bit too stressed i must say. TOO STRESSED!

I guess i kinda miss CAP (especially the late night grumbles) but i must say i really wanted to come back home (computer! toilet! bed!)... no muggy!

Slept from 3:30 pm yesterday and woke up at 9:45 am today hehe. to find the whole house gone! so i made my own breakfast (burnt it) and am eating T_T no much progress from CAP (which causes constipation) shall become tiff van wrinkle :)

gave up on studying. just no mood i guess. shall go cook somemore food! ciao!

2004-06-20T10:01:00.000-05:00

... the recipe is faulty... it's merely... defective in certain aspects :p

am leaving for cap (creative arts program) tomorrow morning, and won't be back till sat, the day before tomorrow T_T. oh well. i kinda gave up hope studying. hope i maded a good impression on my parents though, my mom isn't easily fooled! will bring books to cap. whether they get done is a different matter :p

had to look for a formal dress )(@#U$#$&(^2! hate dresses! they make you trip!

doing late night packing. am really excited :)

for all those who have to study... all the best! God bless! *sends little hugs*

2004-06-15T03:16:00.000-05:00

How to make a Tiffany Lam

Ingredients:

3 parts competetiveness

3 parts silliness

3 parts beauty

Method:
Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Serve with a slice of caring and a pinch of salt. Yum!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

competitive now are we... *wiggles eyebrows* :p

2004-06-14T22:00:00.000-05:00

weather-wise it's such a lovely day

yeah right! waaaaaa i'm finally back in S'pore after three weeks T_T don't wanna be back :p. when i walked out of the airport and was instantly blasted with hot, humid air... welcome home :p it's just that being away for so long, i just got all caught up in the fairlytale-like lifestyle of holidaying that you get the post-hol blue. bluerg. plus the fact that i have to study 5 months of work in 5 days cause CAP starts next monday is a real turn off. haik haik.

kinda miss italian food :p the pizza, pasta and ofcourse gelato *drools* that was prob the downside of london, not getting the cool food that we ate in italy, but london didn't match my expectations of being wet, cold, dreary and full of dead trees. it was pretty cool actually. summer hasn't hit italy and london, so we were getting rather cold weather. it's those perfect kinda weather where the wind just hits stinging, so your wide awake but not frozen and not sweating a pond. purrrrfect :)

blogger has introduced photoblogging! :) when i get down to it, i'll download all the pics that i've taken from my phone (not fantastic, so shall steal some for the digicam :p) then i'll go further into details abt the trip :) cheers! gotta write a b-day card for my granddad ^^

2004-06-05T18:08:00.000-05:00

Just popping in to say hi! i'm in rome now, internet connection! finally! i found my email overflowing with junk, and rather impt
mail. heh. oh well :) tried to apply for housing for purdue, but my parents hesitated when being faced with a non refundable desposit
for housing T_T oh well... the threat of not being able to go overseas and study this year still hangs over my head like some blasted
rain cloud.

just a side-track, tuscany is soooooooooo pretty! for those who haven't watched under the tuscan sun, go see it! tuscany is REALLY
like that :) poppy fields, rustic atmosphere and medieval buildings, churches ect. ect. really cooL! :)

oh, and operation mugger is a sad sad failure...

2004-05-27T07:57:00.000-05:00

I'm leaving tomorrow. Just my brother and I :) can watch lotsa movies! A bit daunting though. Don't feel like writing much. Wanna go watch winter sonata.

watched day after tomorrow with shiying, daryl and antony. was very fun. the only down part was that antony lost his wallet. movie wasn't that great though.

got sats results back. improved. quite happy. verbal 670 math 700. 1370 total score.

won't be able to update soon. farmhouse in italy does not have internet access.

looking forward to seeing my sis :) but not looking forward to practicing my clarinet there. so pai seh.

bye!

2004-05-23T08:06:00.000-05:00

commencing Operation Mugger... *nods sagely* yes. it is now my current goal to become a mugger. Or at least act like one. (Most likely act) Mommy says my going overseas is now dependant on my attitude towards studying for my mid-terms. I packed all my clothes and stuff and have included the following tools: cmath TYS, selected computing, econs notes, and my chinese shou che. Ofcourse, i have also brought my sketch pads to hide under my books. I shall become an Oscar deserving actress! :)

It seems like the acceptance to Purdue is making my life a little more complicated. Am currently weighing both the pros and cons of each uni, Purdue and Wisconsin. Basically the main problem is my chosen degree. Purdue has quite a bland liberal arts school, the Wisconsin one looks more impressive. But Wisconsin's name isn't good. AND Wisconsin is a smaller uni (8000 peeps) while Purdue is a giant (38000 peeps). So i'll probably get more personal attention in Wisconsin. And i've always prefered small colleges. The choice is pretty tough.

Oh! And i finally finally got my new hp! Song Ericsson T610. It's sooo cool :) Went shopping with Val today and blew $80, then went shopping with my mom after that and blew abt $40 but mom was paying then so i only spent a grand total of $80 hehe :)

I must seek forgivness for these mentioned great great ppl: Brian, Daryl, Valerie, Peni, Dave(y) I'm so sorry for being so moody for the last few days had quite a lot of bad stuff happening simultaneously, but it's no valid reason! *winces* Dave, next time i snap at you like that i give you full right to slap me k? so sorry! Bri, sorry dude! Pussy in the well, wasn't being very helpful sitting there and glarin' at ppl during tc, sorry! Val, i shall vow to talk more (beware)! Peni, sorry gal! Freaked you out like that!

2004-05-20T05:23:00.000-05:00

I got accepted by Purdue University! :) :) haha i was almost giddy with joy when i read the acceptance e-mail during computing (grandpa was away looking for mice). Called my mom up to tell her the good news. Speaking about wet blankets. She can sure rain on my parade. Pouring >.< Shan't go into detail though, just wld like to say i'm paying $42 for the ACJC string concert tickets, and am not going for it.

BUT after that, went to Ikea to boost my spirit :) Daryl and i were shopping for stuff to decorate the TC broadcasting room hehe, we overshot the budget by abt $25 (spent $75) but it was worth it! It's going to be soooo cool! *bounces* i can't wait till tomorrow when i get to install everything hehe. *dances* yay! PLUS, i had pecan (daim) and trip choc pie! (daryl's treat) hehe thanks!

I cld spend all day in Ikea, especially during weekdays, there aren't many people, so you can just wonder around window shopping (or in our case, spending lotsa money :p) It's the ideas they manage to pack in... it's so stylish AND affordable. It's a very gd system, cause most ppl always end up buying more than they planned to, so Ikea makes lotsa money too. Win win situation.

The June hols are coming up. I got into CAP (Creative arts programme) :) and wld be in europe for 2.5 weeks! Hehe so i've got like half a week of free time to study for my term exams. So i really hope mom and dad makes their decision of whether i'm going soon. So i don't have to worry abt cramming :p Then i can spend more time on the piano, mom wants me to take my piano exam when i come back during summer (IF and only IF i leave). Oh well. I hope for the best, and may God's will be done! :) :)

2004-05-13T09:13:00.000-05:00

Something Sugy said during PW meeting got me thinking. He asked me "tiff, do you think it's disgusting that i think my girlfriend is in love with a teacher? ... but i like another girl!" ... i won't say anything abt what i think of him now but i think there's a bigger issue here other than a egoistical maniac.

I think ppl are rushing into relationships just because they think it's "nessasary cause everyone else has one" or cause they think it'll fill up that gaping hole that we all have in our life. And the whole concept of love at first sight? Bullshit. Attraction at first sight is understandable (pretty common actually) but i believe that love (as they say, is friendship set on fire) has to start from friendship. I mean, i think ppl are getting too materialistic. If you "fall in love" with someone almost immediately, it's because of that person's image, or portrayed character.

Looking at the rate of divorces and the drastic increase in broken family's it's really obvious that people don't treat relationships as sacred as they did before. I mean, i bet God created a specific partner for each individual, sometimes we come close to finding who we're supposed to be with, sometimes we don't. I guess it's a whole process, but finding "the one" shldn't be in a trial by error method. A relationship shld only be considered when enough trust and a certain level of comfort has been built. I think being comfortable around each other is very impt. Sacrifice is another.

Do not ... awaken love until it so desires. Song of songs 2:7 That's a pretty cool verse :) it makes a lot of sense. True love can't be searched for, you have to wait for it. (Ahh! i'm turning into a sap! bite me! :p)

2004-05-11T06:08:00.000-05:00

The house smells of paint. Reminds me of 28th of nov 2003, just a week or so after our Os, when Mabs and i painted my room *sigh* so nostalgic... It's a wonder how fast time pasts... 9 whole years in MG just seemed to have shot by in a flash. I still remember running around sch hugging all the pillars to say gdbye... And just a year ago i wanted so desperately to get outta mg,

wldn't believe then that i actually miss climbing up the pink stairway weighed down by a heavy bagpack at 650am and the early morning "copy" sessions and conversations. the mist that covered the graveyard at the back of sch which looked like now. our own private sec 4 toilets and the spit wads on the ceiling... chem with mrs cheong who threatened to eat us alive :) and shared cool stories and jokes, physics with mr lim (both old and young one) trying to drive both mad while mr "young" lim declared that mg bred tai tais hehe, chinese with yao lao shi!

remember being so scared before the chinese os that we refuse to walk outta class and lao shi bought us all fruit and nuts chocolate hehe. mrs cheng... english. my santuary class :) with fiofio chan (milkmaid) aditi (grey vampire broccoli) janna (janut & famous amos) the drawings on each other's papers, dit and i's scribbled arguments... and ofcourse, MEP with mrs chan. most of the time, the most entertaining, but tiring lesson, thursday 230-630 pm. my ham sup lou (brahms) fang's ansestor (mendelsson) and ofcourse our beloved beethovan. *sings the BT and ST* (mich: remember yr soprano theme? hehe) oh! And novae practice at the mep rooms! remember the bursting bugs mich? i can't believe mrs chan actually thought we picked up a real insect hehe and screamed :p but she DID like the bursting bugs :) we all do! hehe :)

maybe one day i'll get enough inspiration to write a book about mg life hehe (titled: cheeseburger! my debut bk!) :) but oh do i miss the mg life and culture.

2004-05-09T09:29:00.000-05:00

Just talked to my sis :) times like this i really wish she was in S'pore. Rather difficult living without a confident. But on the bright side, i'm going to see her in abt 2 weeks :) yay! hehe. strange how we seem to be at each other's neck all the time when we're together, but when she's all the way far far away from me... i miss her sooo much. girl talk if ya know what i mean ;p hehe

Mother's day went pretty well, the muffins were nice :) made fruit salad instead of bagel. burnt my pinky on the boiling potatoes and gave myself numerious paper cut. hehe (my incompetance in the kitchen is due to lack of home econs lessons! forgivable!)

Met Bevan yesterday at SSC, was walking towards the changing area when he popped outta the gym. He found it super strange that he's never met me there before though i go there every sat, and he's there almost everyday. i tell you, these non-local sch kids got it good. The swim was refreshing :) must swim more. miss the water.

2004-05-08T00:29:00.000-05:00

phewf. just finished making apple cider muffins :) now waiting for it to bake. Hope it ends up real nice! ^^ Beginning to wonder whether there's a need to make bagels now. Cause there are more muffins than anticipated. Maybe another day. But i bought philadelphia cheese... and i like bagels. >.< decisions decisions. *sigh*

Finished my SATs today. The 3 hrs were soooo long! Thought i was going to combust. AND speaking abt blowing up, there was this COCKROACH! It was next to me T_T! was wondering whether to scream, yell or cry. Ended up clinging to the table while the ang moh guy behind me snickered. HA! Wait till that roach attempts to climb YOUR table hmph. and for 3 hrs i had to endure it. x_x but other than that some of the words that i crammed in yesterday came out :) but it was harder than the december paper, so we will see yub yub.

Dada decided in getting me a laptop instead of getting a new comp... dunno whether that is good or bad news. "going to leave anyway" was their reason. Hope they stick to it :)

2004-05-04T07:13:00.000-05:00

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! I can not believe this... I have aniticipated this day since April, waiting patiently each time my parents forgot/refused to bring me to Singtel. And finally... when my mom drove us over to singtel today and i ran towards the counter for a number to finally FINALLY get my new phone....

.....
....

The guy at the counter says that my 21 months ends in 2 weeks time... 23rd may to be exact. WTF?! I cannot believe this! I went in Feb and they told me it ends in April! I waited so long! and now it's on the 23rd of May?! AAAAAHHHHHH! diediediediediediediediedie x_x bleurg. shoot me. so now i have to wait. might have to wait 6 weeks, cause mom and dad is flying off on the 23rd. If i can convince them to wither gimme the money or let me skip school on the 23rd to get it in the morning, i just have 2 weeks. we shall see. If they even DARE to tell me to come back 1 month later, OR ask me why i didn't come 3 months earlier... S'pore wld have another murder case. trust me. tiff the homicidal maniac. :p

So depressed don't wanna go to sch tomorrow. Besides, i don't wanna go to support the netballers. (not that i don't wanna cheer for them) just that i wanna go to ikea to buy my teapot and cups for mothers' day. Dada is not free to drive me to ikea so i have to find a time where she isn't in/or thinks i'm in sch. But sch ends sooo late on thurs and fri. I'm doomed. Hope i can convince Sean Tan i'm sick so i can take pink slip or smthing. Shall try. Or maybe convince mom that i'm not well enough to go to school.

wannaaa quit school! T_T

2004-05-02T03:30:00.000-05:00

Ended up not getting my new hp today. :p ran outta time. mommy had to go to someone's 21st b-day party. Finally decided on getting the Sony Ericsson T610, instead of the nokia 6230 or 3200. It's a bit costly... mommy said she'll only pay for half, and i'm not trading in so the price is $268, i'll be paying $134. Yikes that sound really really bad. Maybe I shld consider waiting a bit longer, and hope hard for a special offer hehe. But mom said she wldn't mind taking me to singtel during the week, prob. tues or weds. I'm getting rather impatient though, so might just run outta willpower to wait until a special offer. >.< sigh

2004-04-29T08:04:00.000-05:00

Sleeeeepy >.< stayed in school till 7+ to finish off recording for tomorrow :p pretty fun if you ask me. But according to mommy..."you seem to be having so much fun in AC that yr forgetting to study!" if she only knew... *sigh* keeping me at hm wldn't work! Muahahahahaha :D Tomorrow is gonna be a long long long day. Lotsa things planned on saturday also. I wanna go watch Bright Future, the singapore interational film's jap show. But can't seem to find ppl to come along. Mich want's me to go to the VJ funfair, then after that is swimming at SSC. Most likely wld end up just going to ssc. x_x darn.

Another worksite blewup. Tell you... the MRT line really isn't worth that much damage. Kinda makes you think how sheltered we are. I'm sure the land mines in Cambodia and stuff are so much more destructive. Me on the other hand, fells so traumatized when I heard the news of Nicolle highway and the ECP. God really sheltered us soo much. And it just struck me now. I wonder whether drastic things have to happen before i realise God's blessing and grace.

Thank you Lord :)

2004-04-25T04:52:00.000-05:00

current music: Chill house album by cafe del mar
saaavvvvvyyyyyyy! :)

hehe i'm so happy the misunderstanding has been cleared abt otah ^^. *dances* the performance by the string ensemble was soooo great (at ACM... brought back oh so found memories of Novae T_T) almost made me wish i played a string instrument (note: ALMOST) heh :p Clarinet rocks! (unless it's my neighbours talking) but now it's been repaired... i'm not squeaking all the time! It sounds pretty decient if i cld say so :) happy happy happy :) :) haha then after watching valval perform, squeezed into Dickson's car and went to Kenny Rogers! Where he treated us 'cept that it was my popo's b-day lunch at ssc, so i only picked off val, then rushed to ssc.

But on the downside... dada wldn't let me get meself a new hp... cause i yelled at my bro for changin' my radio station... i feel so stupid... shld have waited until AFTER i got my new hp before yellin' at him... hopefully next week wld have better offers!

2004-04-22T04:45:00.000-05:00

God has heard my prayers :). Again i think it's kinda beautiful the way He handled everything... Like when i was upset abt my class, instead of removing the ppl i didn't really get along with, He added really nice ppl :). And i've been complaining alot abt my project wrk grp, and wahlah! He did the same thing. Though Sugy is still in my grp, Daryl (pussy in the well!) Wayne joined our grp. Not too bad really, since with Wayne around, Sugy's rather tamed. At least watching him and daryl parr off was kinda amusing :). I hope i haven't spoken too fast :p

Went to ps to fix my clarinet... and yamaha was closed... went to mg to take my result slip... the office was closed... just my luck eh? haha at least i didn't get lost. Uncle Ben said smthing really bad though... >.< grrrrr. He was like "so how's acjc? i can see you haven't practiced much. Do you have a boyfriend?" and i was like "no..." and then... he said "Are you sure yr straight? I mean it's perfectly fine to me! in fact, it's very common nowadays!" ... ... ... -_- NO I AM NOT!!! okay. i have nothing really against homos... i just like to establish the fact that i'm very very very straight. thank you. -_- bleurg. just because i'm not a bundle of raging hormones dosen't say anything... *pui* Besides, it's not like i'm going to devulge my whole lifestory to him... =_= practise or no practise :p

oh well. ^^

2004-04-16T05:29:00.000-05:00

okay. today was a shitty day. i know it's unbecoming to waddle around in self-pity but gimme some time to gripe. Bleurg. Someone (*nudges trish*) was looking kinda down during swim meet, so i sat next to that (let the person be x) x, and tried to cheer x up. chattered away like a (fine -_-) monkey, and then guess what x said... ... "Tiff, if you need to learn just one thing, it's to shut up." I mean that was low. really. I mean being I personality, it did say our main prob was that we have an overtendancy to overexaggerate our actions unconsiously, both verbal and physically. Okay, i know i was making alot of noise in the canteen and maybe i deserved to get slapped or smthing, but i wasn't even screamin' at x, i mean.... sheesh, i was trying to make 'em fell better...

Piano tcher gave me looong enlightening talk yesterday which mommy kinda restated today. Smthing abt having no ties... uncle ben said smthing like wanting to get out of the country as soon as possible cause i didn't have any ties. I mean my best friend has been overseas for 2.5 yrs and i guess i'm still looking for a place to do well or smthing, that dumb lifelong questioning of where i belong. actually the more ppl are telling me this, the more i think i wldn't find it. Mommy wants me to fine a "rock" (her quote) weigh me back down to earth or smthing (more like s'pore. apparently dada thinks that once i go i won't come back) Uncle ben said again abt getting ties and decideding to stay. But i guess they'all want me to be happy. >.<

*sigh* and the more i think abt computing test the more i'm freakin' out. Bleuh. current resolutions:
1. shut up 2. stop wracking brain abt otah case 3. self control (don't waste moneeeey & do hw!) Hehe oooky must go listen to veggie tales :) :) happy happy joy joy! :p

2004-04-14T08:58:00.001-05:00

Special messages for:
Jeremy aka cookie man: !@#$%*(@#$%^&*()! Nonononono no ears! i don't have furry ears! nononono! not monkey! am GIRL! GIRL! that picture is baaaaddd! take it off! bad bad bad! bad! (btw, you owe me cookie!)

Cherlyinni: Bluffer woman! you dao me! don't lie!

Andrew: think decapitated gummy bear -_-

Trish:... die.

2004-04-14T08:42:00.000-05:00

YAY! hehe i bought the whole gensomaiden saiyuki set! :) :) i gotta start saving up to buy the saiyuki reloaded series. ^^ *happy happy joy joy* (and daryl starts to get nightmares :p ) hehe finally managed to find out whether Gary's a ballerina.. or balleriner or wateva you call the guys >< hehe Issac helped me ask... apparently noy :( oh well... Gary stared at me like i was an alien and asked me why (hehe) cldn't tell him the real reason so just told him he looks like he's foldable :p (which is true) he offered to tch me howta stretch. The way he does it looks devious though sooooooo hehe i'm no mascocist ... really!

Went for first jap lesson on monday... everyone is twice my age, and the sensei is at least 5 times my age :p hehe he dosen't speak gd english so he kinda conducted his lesson in a mix of chinese and jap... and mumbled to himself half the time sooooo hehe

Guides had outdoor cooking today! I miss mg soo much! Went back to sch with cheryliyo ^^. It was kinda late went i arrived *sigh* but i managed to catch most of the tchers (but not the canteen food :( ) oh well. It was kinda cool though, mr lim said i lost alota weight woohoooooo! *beams* then went to steal marshmellows and chips from my juniors :p nicole wrote "tiffy wiffy stole food" all over palm but i scrubbed it off hehe :p

Nyaninyaninia! :)

2004-04-11T02:21:00.000-05:00

phewf. yesterday was busy day :p went to corona in the mornin' to choose materials for our pond ^^ such a cool place (expect for the killer mosquitos), went to the tc "meeting" (hehe) in the afternoon and had pizza hut. Managed to get some *ahem* one to pay for me lunch. muaahahahahaa i rule! *dances* j/k hehe then went for clarinet lesson, then swam, ate dinner and went to Conrad! :) :)

aunt from london came to visit, and so we went over. after that we went down to oscar's for icecream! and i had "as good as it gets" my gosh! it was HUGE! it came in this super large wine glass, 4 scoops of icecream, and biscotti inside! Whoa! :) :) :) and ate nice fries too ^^ *happy happy* made daddy take a picture of it hehe so cool! (but fattening :( ) sigh... oh well. Life is short! *nods crazily*

2004-04-09T08:09:00.000-05:00

Good friday :) for He has risen :) :) we're saved! hehe *dances* i cld sing of yr love foreva! wooohoooooo!

haha :p unfortunately, good friday dosen't mean i can skip studying for gp... *sigh* hehe :) been reading the anti-SAT article in our GP package... *rolls eyes* if they cld only see what we go thr for PSLE, Os and As... Oh my child believes the the 3 hr test will determine their lives -_- wanna compare the kids that commited sucide for SAT and Os, As? Welcome to S'pore my dear bubble wrapped ignorant... ... (don't wanna get sued hehe)

Watched Hildago yesterday! It's such a great great great movie! The music was great, the scenery and horses were magnificant... I wanna horsey! Plleaaaseeee! hehe must go buy the soundtrack! Viggo dosen't look that great with blond hair, but he's a great actor! Perfect for the role! :)

2004-04-09T07:59:00.001-05:00

actually had a hard time choosing... so shall adopt another one!

hehe :)

2004-04-08T03:54:00.000-05:00

I TAKE IT BACK!!!! school is not getting better... nope nope no. #$%^&*( project work grp... of all luck... *sigh* was praying so hard that i wldn't get preps...

I think God's trying to teach me abt tolerance here ... *sigh* i.must.not.growl.or.make.sarcastic. comments.at.sugi. ..... definately challenging with my new self-discipline plan... *bangs head on table* this is the end of me!

2004-04-07T19:53:00.000-05:00

Tralalalala lalalala... heh :p having free period now! ^^ another advantage of computing :) all you science sucker out there ... too bad :) :) hehe just kidding.

School has been... okay lar i guess, econs test was oky, (at least i think i knew what i was doing)... Have been slacking like crazy... not a single sheet of homework has been done at home hehe. *sigh* must master the skill of self-discipline... yes! heh. *cheers for self* -_- wateva... Piano was pretty fine too... cause Uncle Ben spent most of the lesson inquiring abt AC ... keeps trying to set me up with that kami vijaya or smthing... rich indo kid that speaks fluent canto [i heard frm grace that Uncle ben is worried that i wldn't get married =_= isn't a but too early to judge... *growls*]

Mommy wants me to write a full week schedule for her every week... that's like massive bullshitting time... says that it's a good habit, but i gotta learn how to follow my schedule first hehe.

Michy, if you read this... i can't get anyone to go to the concert with me! Fiofio and the other all have things on! Xinxin'en dosen't wanna pay 20 bucks... so T_T dunno whether i can come... shall check with cheryl, but no promises!

ooooooooooooooooky doo! shall go watch somemore trailers ^^ loove msn!

2004-04-05T08:24:00.000-05:00

Monday blues... belurg.

Okay... maybe not just monday blues, let's makes that weekday blues :p. Tomorrow there's econs test T_T after 1 wk of econs, i'm having a test on smthing we didn't cover in that week. Go me. =_= sleeepy. *double sigh* Wonder what mommy wld say if i flunked my first test hehe x_x

shoooooooot me.

Read Catcher in the rye again hehe 15th time :) :) soooo related to my life. Makes teenage angst so ... unteenage angst :p JD Salinger!!! Yr the man! He defines preps sooo perfectly! Hehe ^^

Going to tear up my econs TYS! >.<

2004-04-04T07:48:00.000-05:00

Palm sunday!!!

Hehe :p sorry, had the urge to do that. Some guy went thr the details of Jesus' suffering and crucification in sunday sch today... i was rather grossed out at how cruel the Romans are... the cat o nine tails flog thingy... apparently it's 18 stitches for one gash, 9 tails so it's 162 stitches from 1 whiplash... can you imagine what happens if the lash you from back to ankle? *shudders* brutal. I think my kids were all kinda creeped out. I mean P4-P6 kids prob never thought abt it, but He really did suffer soooo much for us... I be damned if i don't say this, so... THANK YOU LORD!!!! :) :)

Later we dropped my bro off at some fluffy bunny party or smthing like that and went to geylang to eat. I mean geylang is supposed to be famous for chicken rice, but i didn't see no chicken rice! had craving for fried chicken (<<< my enemy!) Oh well. At least got durians after that ^^. Went to my grandma (dad's side) place to eat, but then everything kinda downsloped. My dad reversed the car into their place and then i heard this loud thumping comin' from behind... apparently my aunt (dad's big sis) said that my dad was crazy to reverse in cause the fumes wld pollute the house, & told my dad to get out and park properly. Dad switched off his engine and said no more fumes, cause it'll be stupid to re-park, more pollution. She told us again to get out so dad blew up. They started screaming at each other... i was sooo freaked.

Trust me, my aunt is SCARY! I hate it when family members fight. But trust me, this aunt is a nono. I was always very scared of her, cause she's really superstisious, and wld scold me if i wore black or did smthing "unlucky". And her words are really biting. Kinda makes you wanna dig a hole and die. But we went into the house anyway. Half way thr the durians she started asking us to get out and never come back, and grandma was like "this is my house! not yrs!" go granny! But she still yelled and stuff... i don't think i ever wanna go back...

When I get married, i'm going to make sure my inlaws are decent ppl... I shall break the stereotype! Go me! Hehe >.< mommy says that when some guy comes and sweeps me off my feet, inlaws wldn't really matter. We shall see! I mix much better (and is much closer) to my mom's side. Love my grandparents! Free icecream and toffee :) and my uncle is coooooool hehe. I hope everthing resolves itself though... i HATE family fuedes.

2004-04-01T22:26:00.000-05:00

Hehe am at computing practical lesson now... muahahaha >< hehe :p

School... is getting better lar... Heh. My classmates are still a bit intimidating, but... Hopefully i'm getting over it. Hehe. Finally decieded on what cca to join... Tech Council... I don't know what possessed me, but when i found out that the photography club has practices on saturday, i decieded that it was the wrong cca to join hehe. I already have clarinet lesson on satuday! no way am i going to give up more of my weekend!

Sigh... lotsa new ppl joined my class, so it's a little more diverse... like by 1 or 2 percent hehe. Still rather scary though... Bleurg. Plus the fact that i have an econs test next week... Yucky poo.

Wondering about a P24 meeting... what say y'all? Maybe we can pretend to be 18 and above and try sneaking into Passion of Christ? Pllleeeeaaaaaaaaasseeeeee! hehe ^^

2004-03-30T07:16:00.000-05:00

Oooopsy hehe :p accidentally put the phone in the fridge. Everyone was searching high and low for it till my mom went into the kitchen and heard it ringing hehe :D must remind self not to talk on the phone and raid the fridge at the same time

*sigh* that aside... school was better today... still don't really feel...welcomed in my class, but what the heck. (i'm lying, i'm still freaking out) To tell the truth, i dispised YJ too ... for a while, so maybe the same thing wld happen about AC. But the ppl in my class are all... jocks and airheads, or super nerds. Just 1 or 2 "normal" middle range ppl like me. Kinda hard to communicate cause i have no idea what they're talking abt. The girls just giggle... abt who knows what. Inside joke? Maybe...

apparently a few of the ex-sg4 ppl are trying to get back into the class, few of the ex-sg5 want to go back too, so pls pls pls pls let there be a switch in class. I'm going to die if i continue in such a class... Prep haven= my hell!

Bleurg. will continue praying very very very hard for things to work out.

2004-03-28T20:53:00.000-05:00

I think i'm cursed. Very cursed. I can so not believe this... aaarrggg! Everyone is so ... tao. Heh. I really miss P24... *sigh* at least my timetable is pretty cool, we end pretty early almost everyday compared to YJ.

Am sitting in the computer lab waiting for the lessons to start... so entirely weird...

Bleurg

2004-03-28T06:30:00.000-05:00

tomorrow will see new class.

hope i like it.

i'm nervous.

2004-03-27T06:12:00.000-05:00

1se4...
Ooooky...
heh

funny sounding class... hehe Well... Andrew's former class and according to him, the computer geek's haven... i am damned T_T hehe. Hope it's not too bad, but i'll know one monday.

Have been a bad bad girl this week ^^ apparently coping out the school rules for Mr Sim has proven ineffective :) i have skipped 3 out of my 4 lessons yesterday and didn't go for econs lecture today hehe. I rule! Muahahahaa (actually better start studying now got test in a weeks time) *shudders*

Hehe

2004-03-24T08:14:00.000-05:00

OOOOoooooopppppppssss!!!

forgot to say, it's been 3 days in sch and already i'm in trouble :p... hehe i skipped induction lecture and they marked attendence... the ONLY lecture they marked attendence and i went to ALL the rsest -_-. Anyway, they read out the names of the ppl present and the ppl not named (abt 80 of 'em) had to stay behind and surrender their ez-link card...

Only got it back at 500 i ended sch at 310.... sigh... And now i have to write some summary of all the sch rules and stuff T_T whaaaaaa!

I screwed. >.<

2004-03-24T07:57:00.000-05:00

WWHOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Hehe haven't written for 2 days sorry! Heh >.< Orientation was... dry... the theme was really kinda cool, but i think it was dragged out a bit too much :p. The sun wasn't much help either, if i didn't die of sian-ness, i'll die of heat stroke :s. Hehe ^^ oh weeell.

The ppl are very nice :) glad to be back with all the mg peeps. Kinda like being back in mg, so many familiar faces (hi y'all!!! :p) Orientation was only one day though... so cldn't really bond much with my og... infact, i can barely remember anyone's (from my og's) name...

We had to pair off for the Orientation game called the game of life, and we had to run around stations getting money to pay for our education and then finally collecting $20 000 to redeem ourselves and claim back our ez-link cards :p. Kinda cool cause you get to gamble (the risk!!!) and do all sorta illegal stuff :p My partner was some aci guy, the silent (i think i am brooding) type hehe kinda nice guy... whatshisname... urm... kang qi or smthing like that (i remembered it as kublah khan qi lai liao hehe). Was abit too quiet but i get to make the noise ^^ nice guy :) (and he didn't tell me to shuddup!)

Jeanette from SCGS (Cherylynny! do you know her?) was in my og too! hehe very very very nice girl. Not taking my subj combi though infact... i don't really know anyone taking the same subj combi as i (mathc, econs, computing)... hmmm....

So i kinda ended up hanging around my usual mg group, but i'm so glad we're back together again!!! Yeah! But i really miss the YJ bunch though... Awwww T_T nostailgia... I wldn't believe it a few days ago, but i kinda miss the long long long mrt ride... it's kinda entertaining watching the weirdos on 'em hehe until i ended up sitting next to a smoker :s ... but YJ was really a cool experience, and i have to say that i really miss the ppl there! you guys rock!

2004-03-21T06:33:00.000-05:00

Nervous... eek.

school starts tomorrow...

T_T

2004-03-20T00:46:00.000-05:00

You are a human shadow. If a loved one needs you,
you are always right at his or her heels! Your
deep social connection with human beings
produces your qualities of genuine caring and
charisma. However, at times you are naive to
the true nature of your loved ones. Remember
that humans' gift of free will does not always
lead them in wise directions. But your essence
of love and friendship represent the other
precious gifts of humanity. Overall you are a
strikingly valuable and innocent being who has
a lot to give.(please rate my quiz cuz it took
me for freaking ever to create)

What Kind of Shadow Are You? (with gorgeous pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

now THIS, is better... (at least the picture is heehe) actually it dosen't sound as cool... :p

2004-03-20T00:43:00.000-05:00

You have a malicious soul! Malice, when defined
means, The urge to see the sufferings of others
But you dont really mean any harm to anyone,
you just like to watch it. Mischievous, cruel,
and seducing, you can hurt others with cruel
words or just be plain mean. Prank calls,
tripping people, and breaking the laws are your
favorite past times. You can lie just as easily
as laugh, even to a close one. People are
intimidated by you because you never let people
get close to you. Youre cold, ruthless, and
pessimistic behavior drives people away, which
show the pain you feel inside.

What Kind of SOUL do you posses? (For Girls only) Incredible Anime Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla

... I AM NOT!
NOT!

2004-03-20T00:37:00.000-05:00

Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis.
"You do not know the power of the Dark
Side." There are two possibilities: you
are a Star Wars geek, or you are unreasoningly
scary.

Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

pretty accurate if you ask me :)

2004-03-19T21:31:00.000-05:00

AC! YAY! AC! YAY!

ooooooohmigosh! i'm soooo happy! Yeah! WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!

and btw, Sharada... chao ta muffin... -_- OMAE O KOROSUE! seriously man... telling me that i was back in YJ really gave me a heartattack... Like some eternal punishment T_T (why does always rain on me *sniffs* is it because i lied when i was seventeen) wait... i'm not even 17 yet hehe ><

Whew. *pants* adreneline baby.

2004-03-19T02:01:00.000-05:00

Just came back from taka (got the bk 7 of the gensomaiden saiyuki series) happy happy :) hehe

Painted the 2 gundams with Mabmabs yesterday, but got distracted by the munchies and milkshake (and a burnt muffin), so didn't finish building them hehe. Got home 5 hrs later than my mommy expected but didn't get my ears blown off (yay! i love you mommy!) practiced clarinet till my neighbours fainted ^^ all in all i say it was a rather productive (or destructive) day yesterday :)

Must find a time to go back over to Mabs' place to finish up the non-chibi wing zero... If mommy allows me out of the house again hehe. Bleurg ><

Posting results tomorrow! Araaaaaaaaaah!

p.s. the cookies were nice thank you :)
p.p.s must remind self to buy more marshmellows

2004-03-17T02:48:00.000-05:00

Back home! (yes! internet access) hehe. 3 more days till postings... really really hope i get into Ac ...

*sigh* today i have piano -_- Better go stuff myself with chocolate before facing the music (no pun intended hehe). Ego bashing sessions shld be arranged with full first aid backup doncha think? Bleurg.

Must. Go. Practice. Again.

x_x

2004-03-13T20:22:00.000-05:00

:) am in KL now (PJ Hilton exactly) gonna be leaving soon, driving over to some jetty 3-4hrs away then going to Pangkor ^^ some beach resort getaway thingy! Cool! hehe *happy grin* then can try and get rid of that ugly tan i'm sporting hmmmm... Haha probably won't be able to get the comp away from my daddy soon, so probably wld be outta touch. I'm switching off my hp too, cause i forgot to bring my charger hehe. Away from technology! Away from the citylife! TO NATURE! (and mosquitos T_T) hehe

Ooooooooooooky y'all ^^ see ya

2004-03-11T03:05:00.000-05:00

and again... THANK YOU CHERYLYNNY! YOU SAVED MY LIFE! (okay, maybe not life, but definately blog ^^ hehe) thank you sooooooooo much :)

Oh, and screw geocities! hehe

thanks again for hosting my pics!

2004-03-11T01:53:00.000-05:00

Whoa... Okay so after much screaming, tearing of hair, and drooling over the keyboard... i still can't seem to find out why my pics don't appear... Grrrrr. *sigh* went shopping today AGAIN hehe, was looking for a swim suit... you have no idea how hard that is. I mean, enough with the 2 pieces! Don't ppl sell the normal more proffessional looking swimsuits which are PRACTICAL? Jeeze...

:p went out with Cheryl, Tim and Yong Hong (scary giant) yesterday and got caught in the rain. Wasn't wet enough to drip all over my piano tcher's floorl, unfortunately. One can only take being called stupid (not his exact words but...) for a number of times. Bleugh.

Yong Hong offered to teach me how to play the guitar (for $10 an hr)... my mom is kinda against it though... says that i won't have the time to practice and stuff, wants me to concentrate on my piano and clarinet. I really really want to learn though... Been dying to learn how to play the guit. Besides, it'll really cool being able to play before i leave s'pore. aik aik... Help! What to do what to do...

Hmmm.. i'll go fiddle with geocities again to see what i can do. Maybe i shld check out angelfire.

Ciao!

2004-02-23T10:11:00.000-05:00

OH THANK YOU CHERYLEENY! *muah*

2004-02-22T08:28:00.000-05:00

damn! shoot me! this sucks!